At first it was the charm, the humour, the literary quality of everyday talk, the celebration of the land, the sea, the beauty. I was beguiled. And then I began to be more involved and less easily won over. The strong sense of belonging that all Irish Americans feel could also exclude people like me. The attitude to state support for denominational education in the North - strongly held to be an essential by Nationalist and Protestant alike, despite the clear popularity of integrated education - makes me feel an outsider.
And yet the use of memory, the recording of the Famine in literature and now in museums, the sense of peoplehood, the restoration of the language, the pride in Irish food, clothes, glass and design - these are things I warm to, I even love.
So much for the love affair. It may not always be reciprocated, and I have certainly had my share of unpleasantness in Ireland - over integrated education in the North, and over my support for and pleas for generosity towards asylum seekers, when I have cited the generous welcome I and my family have received. But what I feel deep down is something beyond the attractive, the warm, the cosy, the charm. For there can be begrudgery, hatred, land battles and long held feuds, and there are many unpleasant stories to tell.