And for my next trick . . .Enda Kenny brought the house down in Sligo last night when he produced a live Rabbitte from a hat to a chorus of astonished gasps from his audience.
Endakadenbra! And there he was, before their very eyes. Pat Rabbitte, leader of the Labour Party, appearing as guest of honour at Fine Gael's annual parliamentary party think-in. Short of sawing Bertie Ahern in two and making Michael McDowell disappear in puff of smoke, Enda couldn't have pulled off a better stunt.
It knocked the after-hours juggling exploits at Fianna Fáil's recent bash off the top of the political light entertainment charts.
We thought Enda looked a little uncomfortable earlier in the day when he held an impromptu press conference on the Sligo Park Hotel lawn. Pulling at his cuffs and seeming preoccupied, people weren't to know he was hiding a substantial Rabbitte up his sleeve. "We discussed the idea of visiting our respective party conferences when we met in Mullingar," explained the FG leader. "It's a way of showing the electorate that we are serious about going into government together."
Pat's surprise appearance stunned guests. He strolled into the pre-dinner drinks reception, escorted by a beaming Deputy Kenny. No applause greeted this unexpected turn of events: the clatter of Blueshirt jaws hitting the ground was matched by the sound of James Connolly turning in his grave.
Suddenly the rather giddy mood of party handlers - they spent the day rushing around the hotel lobby in a state of barely suppressed excitement - was explained. This had been the best kept secret of the day. Parliamentary party members, returning from a reception at the local council offices, got off their bus and were met by the sight of their leader nuzzling up to Rabbitte on the steps of the hotel.
Deputy Rabbitte, for his part, keep his senior coalition partner waiting. Enda, powdered and preened and in his best suit, stood like a nervous groom for over 10 minutes at the front door, waiting for his political intended to show up. We had visions of Pat sitting in the back of a car and shouting "go around the block one more time!" to the driver.
It wasn't a big entrance. The Labour leader padded around from the car park on his own to be met by a smiling Enda and a large bridal party of FG insiders. They fell on him and brought him into the fold.
"Declan Bree never gave me this kind of welcome," chuckled a chuffed Rabbitte, referring to his on/off relationship with the former Sligo TD.
"I'm very happy for him to attend this social occasion," chirruped Enda. Pat nervously straightened his tie as the Blueshirts on the steps closed in around him and the bus containing the rest of their parliamentary party began decanting politicians. The flowed up and around the Labour leader. Enda put a steadying hand on his shoulder and guided him through the foyer. "This is serious. Oh, this is very serious," declared Donegal deputy Dinny McGinley as they passed by.
Then it was inside for drinks. Pat standing to one side with an adviser, Enda standing at the bar. They walked into the diningroom together to applause.
Needless to say, Pat looked extremely pleased with the reaction he got from his putative coalition partners. But then, Fine Gael and Labour are becoming like one and the same in Sligo. After addressing such topics as crime and renewable energy, party members repaired to the council offices, where they were guests of the Labour mayor Jimmy McGarry. Jimmy used to be a member of Fine Gael.
Then it was back to the hotel for the Rabbitte bombshell and a very nice menu to get over the shock.
Speaking of shock, there was some alarm when it turned out that one of the speakers would be Pádraig McManus, chief executive of the ESB. Mindful that Enda Kenny famously pledged he would "electrify" the party when he was elected leader, some deputies worried that Pádraig might be just the man to carry out Enda's promise.
While the notion of reciprocal visits to their respective think-ins was nailed down in Mullingar, it was first discussed by the two Mayomen when they attended the All-Ireland semi-final. Enda is due to attend Labour's parliamentary party meeting in Cork on Monday, although he is giving no guarantee as to his physical wellbeing on the day should Mayo beat Kerry on Sunday.
The big match provided much mileage and scope for photo opportunities for Enda as he mustered his troops for this pre-election shindig. On hand to act for the other side was five times All-Ireland football medallist Jimmy Deenihan.
He posed beside Enda holding up a Kerry shirt, while Enda proudly displayed the red and green of Mayo. New jerseys were procured for the occasion, although it took a massive effort on the part of the Fine Gael backroom team to source a Mayo shirt. Jimmy, meanwhile, had to be talked out of producing one of his originals, stained with the sweat and blood of Dublin footballers.
Before the Fine Gael/Labour love-in was joyously cemented over the ecumenical fillet of beef and walnut truffle, the big story in Sligo concerned the fate of a giant beached creature in the last throes of life.
But enough of the Blueshirts, who at least got a reviving shot in the arm when deputy Rabbitte swam into their welcoming embrace. Until he pitched up, most talk was of the sperm whale that perished out at Culleenmore. After last night's touching union, the FG/Labour leviathan might just have a better chance of survival.