FIVE-A-SIDE SOCCER: Belfield's abuzz. Awash with colour, noise and drama, not to mention frustration, ecstasy, despondency and rapture. But that's football for you. Stand in one spot, do a 360-degree turn and you've travelled the globe in less than 30 seconds. Dizzy.
Deep vein thrombosis without leaving the campus. Seventy teams. Azerbaijan, Guatemala, the Ivory Coast, Botswana, Gibraltar, Martinique, Namibia.Football, you know, is the world game. Not convinced? Well, get yourself to Belfield for the five-a-side and you will be.
Even those of us who are geographically challenged know it's a fair old distance from Tripoli to University College, Dublin. Safe to assume, then, that Ireland's opponents in yesterday's 9.30a.m. match on pitch 19 would be feeling a long way from home.
Tsk. "Lib-y-a, Lib-y-a, Lib-y-a, Lib-y-a," chant the pupils from Clonskeagh's Muslim National School, a stone's throw from the suburb's splendid mosque. The Libyan players made full use of "home" advantage to beat Ireland 2-1. Ireland, though, rallied in the afternoon, beating Luxembourg 6-0 to take bronze.
Among those who will return home with a medal is Charlestown, Co Mayo's Rita Doherty, one of the "Gregory's Girls", along with Kathleen McMeel (Bruff, Co Limerick), of the Irish five-a-side squad. A runner of some repute, Doherty decided a while ago it was time to teach the lads how to play football because lads, as we know, generally don't know their first-time volleys from their dewberry-scented aftershave. She taught well, as that bronze medal confirms.
So, too, did Gerard Murray, joint-manager of the Irish team, and another Mayo native. He began working with Ballina Community Workshop and Abbey Enterprises two years ago and played no small part in four Ballina Training Centre athletes making it to the Games - Caitriona Ryan (pitch and putt), Keith Ashman (athletics), Karl Neary and Rita Doherty (both five-a-side football). It was reward for 12 years' work in special needs.
Reward for Westmeath, too. Shane Carter (Mullingar), Niall Ledwith (Multyfarnham), Damien Ryan (Gainstown), Anthony Gilmore (Mullingar), John Dowler (Rathconrath) and Alan Dempsey (Mullingar) are all members of the five-a-side squad.
Look who it is. Craig Johnston, the Australian who once played for that little Merseyside club, Liverpool. And then made his fortune designing the Predator boot, the one that helps you curl the ball around a 195-man wall and in to the net. He's here, in Belfield, treating some of the players to his "Supaskills" programme.
One man who doesn't appear to need any "Supaskills" help is Kazakhstan's Berik Khalimov. He's already caught the eye of Republic of Ireland manager Brian Kerr. "Howya Berik - Khalimov, would that be a Leitrim name? You wouldn't have an auld granny living in Drumshanbo, by any chance," he didn't say, at least not in earshot, but he was probably tempted.
If there's a drop of Irish blood flowing through a useful footballer's veins, Kerr will find out before they do themselves. He'll present them with their family tree and say "try that there Irish jersey for size". Matt Holland and Mark Kinsella, in the centre of the Irish midfield, have big hearts, but "creativity" and "vision" don't get a mention in their footballing CVs. No wonder Kerr took a shine to Khalimov. Spine-tingling skills. Sees a pass before the ball has stopped spinning.
And Robbie Keane still needs a partner up front. Well: when Ramon Diaz shoots, Ramon Diaz usually scores. He's kept the "stattos" at Belfield busy all week, not to mention the goalkeepers. Worn out from plucking the ball out of the net. "Diaz - would that be a Skibbereen name?" dreams Brian Kerr. "Na, but I once heard of a Diaz from Bagenalstown," and with that the Irish manager is off to Co Carlow. In his dreams. Ramon Diaz belongs to Paraguay, and they're unlikely to release their grip, even IF his granny's from Bagenalstown.
