If it was a `domestic', you'd feel a lot safer." It was an innocent remark, made by a woman in Galway after the violent death of taxi-driver Eileen Costello-O'Shaughnessy a month ago today. The woman meant no harm - but the hidden message was that domestic violence was more acceptable, and definitely not a social crime.
Those spouses who have experienced otherwise, and survived, know better. Or do they? Do those who have suffered physical or mental cruelty at the hands of their partners blame themselves? When will society challenge a system which offers so little support to those who need most help - particularly those living in isolated areas?
These are some of the issues which Women's Aid has been trying to highlight at regional seminars, one of which was held recently in Galway. Hosted with SOAR (Surviving and Overcoming Abusive Relationships) and the Western Network of the Community Worker's Co-Op, the seminar took place a week after Mrs O'Shaughnessy's murder, and just days before Pat Gillane was sentenced for murdering his wife Philomena.
The seminar was planned as part of the 16 Days of Action Against Violence Against Women, the focus of which was the Government's task force report on the issue. One of that report's recommendations is that local networks be established with a community-based approach to the provision of help. Such networks are vital, according to Roisin McDermott of Women's Aid - one of several speakers at the seminar, along with Evelyn Glynn of the Tuam Resource Centre and members of SOAR and the Letterfrack Women's Group.
"Women who are suffering in urban areas can be isolated enough, but the position of women in rural areas is very difficult indeed," Ms McDermott said. Christmas, with its alcohol associations, tends to increase tension. "A woman goes to the GP, and he or she is a family friend. Will she be believed? The simple logistics of getting to see a solicitor, going to court, having access to financial support - and just basic transport - are often insurmountable in those situations."
It is when a woman can take no more, fears for her children, and is preparing to leave that she is at most risk, Siobhan O'Donoghue and Karen Feeney of SOAR point out. Research has shown that 18 per cent of Irish women in relationships with male partners have been subjected to violence, and 59 per cent of Irish women know a woman who has experienced it.
Too often, the glib assumption is that it is a woman's responsibility, and just another failed marriage. "How many times have we heard the questions `why does she stay?', when the real question is `why do men abuse women?'," said Siobhan O'Donoghue. Focus must be shifted to the root causes - power and control - she believes - and community work has a key role to play.
Such work is aimed at empowering the powerless, yet even those involved may have not given enough help in the past to women at risk.
A refuge in Galway city has only eight units for women and their children, and it has to serve Galway county, Mayo and north Clare. There is a similar refuge in Ennis, and one due to open in Castlebar. "But when the nearest shelter is 120 miles away, what good is it for a woman fearing for her safety at 3 a.m. in northwest Connemara?" said O'Donoghue. And, in spite of a key task force recommendation, are gardai in rural areas equipped, and able, to treat such abuse as a crime?
SOAR was started in 1993, and has helped more than 150 women in the last three years. It is under-funded, depending on such charitable sources as the British Allen Lane Foundation, along with small grants from the Western Health Board and Galway City Partnership, and it badly needs more volunteers. It believes a co-ordinated approach by the voluntary, community and public sectors is vital.
There is no point in wringing hands about the rise in crime without tackling the causes and acknowledging society's responsibility, said O'Donoghue. "Women often know their killer. They put out the signals. And too often we turn away."
SOAR can be contacted at PO Box 110, Galway. Its helpline telephone number, which is staffed by volunteers, is 091- 567435 (Mondays, 3-5pm and 7- 9pm).
