Loneliness of the long-distance commuter's spouse

Long-distance commuting has spawned a new social problem: isolation and loneliness for the spouse left at home.

Long-distance commuting has spawned a new social problem: isolation and loneliness for the spouse left at home.

Stay-at-home parents whose partners commute from Tullamore to Dublin could pass two days without having a decent adult conversation, according to Home Start, a voluntary befriending service for parents.

Ms Patricia McLoughlin, Home Start co-ordinator and public health nurse, said the problem would grow as more people migrated from Dublin to counties such as Offaly.

"Many people have moved down here from Dublin because of the cost of living and are living in big housing estates where they don't know anyone," she said.

READ MORE

And because their partners leave home so early in the morning and don't get back until late, they often spend long periods of time alone.

They also miss the back-up of extended family if they have left their birthplace. While isolation is expected in rural areas, Ms McLoughlin said, people in rural areas had a greater sense of community. "People know your family and where you come from.

"That's changing, too, but in a lot of large housing estates people don't know anything about each other."

The Home Start programme began in Tullamore in September but has been operating internationally since 1973 to offer support, friendship and practical assistance to parents of young children.

There are two programmes in Cork and Dublin, and more than 20 in Northern Ireland.

In Tullamore 12 volunteers work with 10 families, but more volunteers are being sought. Age is no barrier. The only requirement is that they are parents or grandparents.

The volunteers visit families every week, spending one to two hours with them.

A family morning is also held every Wednesday, at St Mary's Youth Centre. Volunteers go through a 10-week training course which includes topics such as parenting skills and child psychology.

While people from Dublin may feel isolated in Tullamore, the problem must be magnified for the families from Russia and Pakistan who are involved in Home Start.

"It's great to have them involved because it raises cultural awareness.

" People see that we are all the same," Ms McLoughlin said.

"All our babies cry or wake up during the night or have temper tantrums.

"It doesn't matter where you come from."

Home Start in Tullamore can be contacted at 0506-22996.