Everything that can be said about New York has been said before - there is no original statement to be made about the place at all. It has been moulded and twisted and tugged by bon mots, analogies and epigrams so that it's almost more familiar if you've never been there than if you've lived there all your life. An exaggeration perhaps, but there is certainly a sense of deja vu about arriving in the city for the first time. Admittedly, this uncanny sense of prior knowledge is not because of the wealth of printed matter on the city but because of the reels upon reels of film footage that has been recorded of New York city.
Again, this is not an original statement. It has been said before that when you arrive in New York for the first time, something nags at you and worries you, even while you're exclaiming dutifully over the skyscrapers and the yellow cabs. Finally you realise that the weird feeling is because it doesn't feel that weird at all. In fact you feel quite at home in a nervy sort of way - after all, most people have been reared on a television and cinema diet that includes footage of New York, be it Taxi, King Kong or Friends.
Once this becomes clear, it is only a matter of time before you either become addicted to the city or begin to loathe it with a vengeance. I have a firm belief that this depends on whether you're the kind of person that would like to star in a movie about your own life or not.
Essentially, that is what a short trip to New York is - a chance to feel that there are cameras behind you, filming your every move. There must be cameras because the New York cityscape can only be a film set - you just don't see a Wall Street exec cruising down Madison Avenue on a motorised skateboard, smoking a cigar in real life, do you? So if you want to get the full New York impact (if not the full New York experience) it is often a good idea to just go for a weekend.
This is becoming increasingly popular. Continental Airlines now offers daily flights from Dublin to Newark in addition to the traditional Aer Lingus route, and for many, time is now a more precious commodity than money: the "To hell with expense, I can't possibly take more than a weekend off" school of thought. It's not as silly as it sounds. There is an endless amount that can be done in New York in a weekend and you will come home with your sense of awe, wonder and creeping panic intact, rather than getting that patina of ennui and cynicism that a longer trip can engender. First item on the agenda is to find somewhere to stay. Two very trendy downtown hotels are the Soho Grand (on West Broadway and Grand) and new arrival, The Mercer (on Mercer and Prince, unsurprisingly) - both very chic, very simple and very expensive. A better value option is the Hotel Iroquois which is vaguely uninspiring but central and has additional kudos because James Dean once slept there.
If you're sticking to the notion that your weekend visit is in fact a short film with you as the protagonist and New York as the focus, the wisest thing to do with your time is to walk. And walk and walk and walk. Although New York is commonly perceived as a vast city, which it is if you take the five boroughs into account, Manhattan itself is very small. The downtown area in particular is infinitely manageable, in fact Greenwich Village and East Village often seem just that: villages.
By walking around, poking down alley ways, staring at bill boards and watching the people, you get a more techni-colour picture of New York than you would by spending two days haring from the Empire State building to the Statue of Liberty. And keep this in mind as you mooch: the latest initiative by the controversial mayor of New York, Rudi Giuliani, who recently decreed that civility was the new policy of Gotham City. His first target was jay-walking so crash barriers have been set up at many of the main midtown intersections, forcing you to cross at the right point. As if tackling one New York institution (the right to walk on the "Don't Walk" sign) wasn't enough, Rudi has now turned his attentions to two others - cab drivers and hot-dog stands. Perhaps most controversially of all he has now started on a policy of "Disneyfication" of that monument to glorious seediness: Times Square. Get to New York quick before car horns, delis and Leonard Cohen records are outlawed.
When you're wandering around take time to check out the amazing small gardens that have been created on waste lots in the East village and the lower East Side - the one on the corner of Houston Street and Bowery is a particularly established and well-cared for oasis. The Staten Island ferry, used by hundreds of Wall Street commuters every day is a cheap and interesting way of seeing the Statue of Liberty from the water, and a stroll through Central Park should be a requirement of entry into the city.
New York museums are obviously worldclass too. The MOMA, the Metropolitan museum and the Guggenheim are the obvious choices but some of the more off-beat ones - the Ellis Island Immigration Museum or the hands-on Sony Wonder Technology Lab - are also worth a visit. For shopping you should make time to check out the vintage clothes and antique stores around Elizabeth Street in East Soho as well as the big uptown stores like Bloomingdales and Barneys.
Eating out in New York is quite literally a world of choice: most restaurants tend to be either ethnic or themed. One of the most successful of themes is the highly desirable and highly expensive Le Cirque 2000, a new incarnation of restaurateur and ringmaster, Sirio Maccioni's world famous restaurant, Le Cirque. Elsewhere in Manhattan there are any number of groovy bars and restaurants to try out. Moomba is currently very hot with super-models and nearly-made-it film makers; Orchard is known for its killer apple cocktail called Original Sin but Idlewild takes first prize in the theming stakes. It is a perfect recreation of a 1970s Pan-Am aircraft complete with turquoise leather uphostery and waitresses in groovy little retro air hostess hats - Idlewild is the old name for JFK airport. However it is worth remembering what one Irish friend, a long-time resident in New York, rather poignantly remarked on my last visit. Squatting rather uncomfortably on the Japanese-style low sofas in the trendy Bond Street bar he muttered rather sadly into his gin gimlet: "Being in these kind of places makes me remember just how much I like real American bars." Certainly, there is nothing to beat a good old long counter bar with lots of obscure brands of bourbon behind the bar, a bad juke box and a pool table at the back. This kind of bar is one of the few things that can perhaps be described as native to New York.
In New York it is damnably hard to stick out, although many Village kids devote their lives attempting to doing just that. So you walk the streets with a slight roll to your gait thinking "What a great city and just for a short time I am part of it. I am a component element of the organic whole that is New York." Or at least that's what you should be thinking. After all, you're in one big film set and for this weekend at least, you're the central character.