Ask the majority of football fans who follow life in the English Premiership to describe in three words their feelings about the recent collapse of Manchester United's on-field fortunes and they'll most likely beam: "God is good."
Ask the minority - the United supporters - to respond to the same question and they'll be dumbstruck, largely because their open jaws haven't unlocked since reading: "Manchester United 0, West Ham 1" on Teletext's results page last Saturday afternoon.
That defeat simply confirmed what was already a growing suspicion: the crown is slipping. To lose away to Arsenal is unfortunate, to lose at home to Chelsea isn't great either, but to be beaten in the league by West Ham at Old Trafford . . . well, you might as well call it a day. You've had your chips.
United have lost 10 of the 26 matches they've played this season and drawn another five, which is almost as many "non-victories" as they've had in the last three years (during which time they won the league without getting out of bed). Sir Alex Ferguson remains defiant though, about United's hopes of retaining their league title. Depending on his mood. "It's not in our nature to surrender," he said, midweek, three days after surrendering.
You put your white flag up, your white flag down, your white flag up and you shake it all about. Then you take it down again.
Such indecision has been the bane of all things United this season, whether it be the manager's laying down of arms while shouting no surrender or the performances of the back four, who have spent the season simultaneously hollering "YOURS!"
True, some have bemoaned the amount of newspaper space allotted to this sporting crisis in recent weeks and, frankly, they have a point - quite why such trifling matters as the war in Afghanistan haven't been consigned to the news in brief sections, to allow for eight-page daily spreads on events at Old Trafford, makes you wonder if news editors live in the real world at all.
They might have a better understanding of the magnitude of this calamity if they were aware that United have conceded 40 goals in their 26 matches so far this season, roughly 39 of them created by their own players. When the Roman Empire collapsed it didn't make as loud a bang.
There are almost as many theories being proffered as goals conceded to explain why it has all gone so horribly wrong. The latest, spotted in an English newspaper last week, pointed to the fact that the spine of the United team is now foreign - Fabien Barthez (France), Laurent Blanc (France), Juan Veron (Argentina) and Ruud van Nistelrooy (Holland).
(In this context foreigner is defined as "admittedly a talented player, but he's really only a mercenary while our boys are obviously in the game for the love of it. He's temperamental; drinks wine, not lager; eats pasta, not chip butties; wilts when the going gets tough and wears gloves in winter time").
In truth, that theory is as porous as United's rearguard this season. After all, the spine of United's treble-winning team of 1999 wasn't exactly born and bred in the back streets of Salford either, hailing, as it did, from four foreign nations - Denmark (Peter Schmeichel), Holland (Jaap Stam), Mayfield (Roy Keane) and Trinidad (Dwight Yorke).
Another theory suggests that United's new formation of 0-5-1 has been a bit of a contributing factor to the slump, with all four defenders missing in action since the season got under way.
Others have pointed the finger at goalkeeper Fabien "Blooper" Barthez, suggesting that his habit of gifting goals to opponents has not helped - a nasty but incontrovertible point.
Barthez, incidentally, revealed during the week that he has hired an expert in the ancient Chinese art of Feng Shui to reorganise his home so that he comes over all calm and tranquil. This, he reckons, will help him become a good goalkeeper again when, to be honest, keeping his eye on the ball and just stopping acting the maggot might do the trick.
And what of David Beckham, lovingly labelled Golden Balls by his wife Victoria? All's not well there either. In fact he's been axed from the team, dropped by Ferguson in the last three games. "He's had a long season," said the boss, explaining that Beckham was tired. Note: This is December, the season ends in May.
Three days after being told that Beckham would never leave United because it is his spiritual home, we were informed that Beckham will leave United because he's fed up. Yet more indecision.
If he moves to Real Madrid Victoria will have to address him as "De oro bolas" and he'll have to cope with a weekly pay cheque of £100,000. It won't be easy, but he'll adjust.
So, what's gone wrong? Well, perhaps the most popular theory is that because Ferguson is retiring at the end of the season, he is a lame duck and lame ducks, no matter how loud they quack, don't strike fear into the hearts of professional footballers.
Just as the world switched its focus from Bill Clinton to George Bush and Al Gore in his final months in the job, football folk began eyeing up Martin O'Neill and Arsene Wenger as likely Ferguson successors.
But? O'Neill recently accepted substantial libel damages over an article in the Observer which claimed that his representatives had had secret talks with United about him succeeding Ferguson (that's how bad things are, it's libellous to link a man with United) and Wenger has just signed a new contract with Arsenal.
George Bush is otherwise engaged so it could be that once the pregnant chads are totted up, Al Gore will be appointed to the Old Trafford hot seat next summer. When he arrives he might discover that horse-owner and gambler J.P. McManus and Coolmore Stud joint-owner and fellow billionaire John Magnier, are his new bosses.
The pair, friends of Ferguson, have been rumoured to be planning a takeover bid for United for months now, although if the slump gets any worse that might be as wise an investment as a snow ski hire company in the Gobi desert. Or Sabena Airlines.
Will United bounce back? Possibly. They are, in fairness, on a roll, having won their last game (they beat Derby 5-0 on Wednesday) but they're still nine points behind Liverpool, five behind Arsenal and four behind Leeds, all of whom have a game in hand.
For United fans, the prospect of Liverpool winning the league is too much to bear, the thoughts of an Arsenal triumph the stuff of nightmares - but a Leeds success? Unpalatable. Almost as unpalatable as those chants of "let's all laugh at United" that have been ringing around English grounds this season.
Nice to see some folk are amused.