Half of you will have awakened this Valentine's morning with a smug, pink glow of satisfaction. Perfect present bought and wrapped, witty card at the ready, plans for an evening of passion-prepping elaborately made. There are people like that.
The rest of us may have started the day in more choleric humour. Males defensive: "It's all so commercial, isn't it?" Females crisp as cornflakes: "Not much point in trying to book a restaurant at this late stage, sweetheart!" Override the tensions. There's still time to buy a meaningful bottle.
I've always maintained that a well-chosen wine can work far better Valentine's magic than timeworn red roses, hackneyed red knickers or sickly chocolates.
However, before you hurtle towards the nearest off-licence, however, there are a couple of aspects that need to be considered. The first is food. In the heat of the moment, don't forget how much better almost all wines taste with something to eat - even if it's only the tiniest nibble. Eating a deux also adds an extra sensuality. So, while choosing the right bottle for the evening, give some thought to the sort of food that will enhance it. For a full-blown meal, try John McKenna's recipes above. But you don't have to go all the way. A sweet, small jar of superlative pate and a few slivers of hot toast, or even a plate of pasta swathed in some delectable sauce, can make it easy to stage an evening to remember. And the wine, like the food, should be light rather than immobilisingly heavy.
But remember, whether you like it or not, your selection of wine will say something about the kind of person you are. There's a message in that bottle and it's all about your personality, darling. For some help with decoding - or maybe even choosing - see the list of attractive types below.
You don't have to spend a fortune getting it right (although wine-loving recipients may argue that it helps, since bottles special enough to stir the souls of the obsessed rarely come cheap). The wines suggested range in price from a blushingly modest fiver to an awesome £100 - offering scope, I hope, for all purses and all degrees of wine infatuation. The main thing is to pick something with a bit of individuality about it, rather than plumping for the first thing that comes to hand. Remember, budget-priced New World Chardonnay is the bottled equivalent of Cadbury's Milk Tray or heart-sprigged boxer shorts.
Economical but stylish
Few things send chaps back into that state of Not Being Ready To Make A Commitment than the prospect of permanent attachment to a spendthrift woman. Even in these dual-income days, imagine. Send out a reassuring signal, girls, with Oddbins Red Chateau de Jau Vin de Pays d'Oc 1996 (Oddbins Baggot Street and Blackrock, £4.99), a warm, spicy southern French red at a price that should make his heart leap. It looks striking, too, with a Ralph Steadman cartoon on the label. Perfect for pasta.
Individualistic
I've written before about the light, exhilarating qualities of Riesling, a wallflower wine loved passionately by a small band of free-thinkers. But Chenin Blanc is another grape that may mark you out as the interesting, adventurous type. At home on the Loire, it's often luscious with lemon and honey; in the New World it can turn bland, but New Zealand plays an expert hand with Esk Valley Chenin Blanc, Hawkes Bay, 1996 (Findlaters, McCabes, Mor- tons Ranelagh, usually £7.99). With hints of lemon and melon, a dash of spice and a lingering finish, it's just the thing to compliment the sweet, fresh flavours of the Scallop Seviche.
Witty, intellectual
Californian winemaker Randall Grahm is wine's philosopher king, pouring pun-packed reflections on to labels. His wine's not bad, either. If you enjoy a bit of wordplay, hunt out the first of his French selections, Ptomaine des Blagueurs Syrah, Sirrah, Vin de Pays d'Oc 1996 (James Nicholson, also McCabes, Mill Wine Cellar Maynooth, Noble Rot Navan, usually about £7.99). Another simple, gutsy red, another Ralph Steadman front label, but fooling around with Syrah and Sirrah on the back leads to a nice little Shakespearean burst: "We shall do nothing but eat and make good cheer. And praise God for the merry year when flesh is cheap and females dear . . .'
Fun-loving
Champagne may be the best drink in the world for true romantics (see below), but it's getting close to the point where an offshore account is needed to fund consumption. Fun fizz should be considered as an alternative. It goes with a bubbly personality.
Try Codorniu Cuvee Raventos (widely available, usually £10.99), a Spanish Cava softened with some Chardonnay in the blend so your tongue won't be paralysed with tartness. Great, incidentally, with Chinese food.
The original romantic
Ah yes, the real thing. Not just deeply romantic but energising, conversation-enhancing and altogether irresistible. I have met people who claim not to like champagne but I simply don't believe them. Here are two lesser known names with which to cause a stir, both offering quality and intrigue. Champagne Devaux Grande Reserve Brut, NV (Vintage shops Drury Street, Rathmines and Blackrock and some other outlets, £19.95-£22.50), has scored highly in many blind tastings with its soft, rounded style, helped along by three years of ageing on the lees. More muscular, blockbusterish Gosset Grande Reserve, NV (O'Briens Fine Wines, Greenacres Wexford, Galvins Cork or by case direct from Best Cellars, tel 01 494 6508, £25-£30) is smashing even with moderately substantial food.
Easygoing
Some wines are surefire successes even with hesitant wine drinkers, without being deadly dull. Beaujolais, especially from pretty-sounding Fleurie, Ireland's favourite cru is one of them. It's inclined to be affordable and watery, or delectable and dear at £10-£12, but here's an exception. Domaine de Montgenas Fleurie 1995 (Dunnes Stores, £7.99) is a simple but succulent wine, packed with raspberry fruit and pour-memore acidity. Perfect both for the Chicken in Wine Vinegar and for languorous little nibbles - cheese and pate, I mean.
Sensual
And hip at the same time? It has to be Pinot Noir from the New World, and Green Point Yarra Valley Pinot Noir 1996 (McCabes, Redmonds, Cheers Malahide, Vineyard Galway and some other outlets, also Direct Wine Ship-ments Belfast, usually about £13.99) is one of the subtlest yet most lip-smacking around. See Bottle of the Week.
Sweet-natured
If you're organising an extravaganza with different wines for every course, you'll need a half bottle of some luscious dessert wine - not too cloying, and probably not too expensive if it's just one element in the line-up. Yalumba Family Reserve Botrytis Semillon-Sauvignon Blanc 1996 (Foleys Cabinteely, Dunnes Stores Cornelscourt and Stephen's Green, Pielows Enniskerry, Mill Wine Cellar Maynooth and other outlets, half bottle usually £8.99) has a clean, fresh finish even though it's a sumptuous mouthful of apricots, candied peel and honey. With this, who needs dessert?
Extravagantly in love
Vintage rose champagne is always special. Especially pretty with its pale salmon colour, especially expensive and, according to the French who should know, especially appropriate for un grand amour. For those of you who can boast boundless love and limitless liquidity, Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame Rose 1988 (McCabes, Redmonds, Findlaters, £95-£100) is worth pursuing - wonderfully delicate, engagingly complex, and with only 8,000 bottles produced, a very special treat. Toy with a little duck breast at the same time, if you can manage to direct your attention three ways at once.