Statement of Listowel woman given at press conference at Kerry Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre in Tralee on Saturday, December 19th.
I am here today to talk about what the experience of the last few days has been like for me and my family.
As I sat in court last Wednesday, a large number of people walked past me and shook hands with and hugged Danny Foley in a show of support. Some of them stared at me and gave me dirty looks as they walked past. It felt like a funeral home more than a court room.
I was very upset and hurt by this. I felt really low, I felt like crying. I felt like curling up in a ball. I felt that I was being told that I was in the wrong and I was not believed, even though he had been found guilty and I knew he was the guilty person.
I felt the courtroom was full of people who supported him and were against me, as if I was on trial and I was the guilty person. I found it really hard to read my victim impact statement but I really wanted to do it for myself, I needed to do it for myself. I had come to court to tell the truth and I wanted to explain how this whole experience had affected me.
I felt very vulnerable after that night; I had lost my confidence and respect for myself. I could not stay alone; one of my family had to be with me all the time.
I felt suicidal, I had nightmares and during the day, I had constant thoughts and memories of what was done to me. I was not able to look after my son, physically or emotionally, and I felt that I had lost my bond with him. As a mother, that was a terrible feeling.
Through the support of my family and friends and my counselling, I began to feel stronger and I began to live my life again.
I hoped last Wednesday would be the end of a long and very bad experience and that I could try to get on with my life facing Christmas and a new year. I never expected what happened in the courtroom and even worse the publicity that came after.
When I heard the priest on the radio, I was really devastated and shocked at what he was saying about me. The canon of Listowel parish visited me yesterday and wished me well and told me that he was there for me and he hoped me and my son would have some kind of a good Christmas and wished me all the best.
I was shocked when I saw him but it meant so much to me. Now I know that the priest in court was only one man and he didn’t represent the church. I also want to thank the bishop for his apology and support.
I told the truth; the lies that were told were told by him. I wanted to die when I heard what he said; at one stage I left the courtroom because I broke down and burst into tears.
I am grateful for the support of my family. I could not cope without them. I am also grateful to the gardaí and to Kerry Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre for their support through all this time.
I am amazed and really grateful to the huge number of people all around the country and even around the world that have sent messages of support. That support is keeping me going, I can’t believe that all those people believe me and took the time to write to me with such lovely messages and to send flowers.
I have cried so much during the past few days and I cried again reading those messages and I have only read a small number of them so far.
Sometimes I feel like I am not going to cope at all. I have to be strong for my son and I try hard to keep a brave face on but inside I have never felt so low and I have never felt so vulnerable in my life.
I don’t have any bad feeling toward the Foley family; I can imagine how bad they are feeling and how hard this is for them.
I want to say to other girls out there that it is hard to put into words what I have been through.
The whole experience of it is terrible. If “no” was said, don’t blame themselves or look back and say I want to change that night’. I have done that so many times. When you say “no”, no is no and whoever won’t take no for an answer, they are taking advantage. You are not the person to blame in any way.
People should know that there is support out there for them and keep their heads up, they have nothing to be ashamed of.
I am not sorry that I went to court and I would encourage any other victim to come forward and report. This has been an awful, hurtful and frightening experience for me and my family.
I want to try and get on with my life now. I will not talk about this again in public and I would appreciate it if the media would respect my privacy and that of my family. I have come here today to tell my side and I want to leave it here now, for everyone’s sake. Thank you.