Forget the image that we're all a stressed-out, time-poor bunch whose lives are unravelling. A report this week shattered some of the myths about how we live our lives, writes Kate Holmquist
We've become a nation of stressed-out commuters whose family lives are going to the dogs because we're trying to juggle family life and work and keep dropping the balls, right? Well, not really. We're actually quite a happy and satisfied lot - or at least we think we are, according to a report published this week, Work-Life Balance and Social Inclusion in Ireland, by Margret Fine-Davis, Ciara O'Dwyer, Mary McCarthy and Grace Edge, for the National Flexi-Work Partnership, funded by the EU Equal Initiative.
That's a mouthful - and so are the statistics, which challenge our perceptions of ourselves after the economic boom. The fact that we're so satisfied with our work, families and relationships could be due to the Irish tendency to look on the bright side, or at least to put a good face on things, according to Margret Fine-Davis, of the Centre for Gender Studies, Trinity College Dublin.
"The Irish don't expect much compared to many other Europeans, which may make it easier to feel satisfied," Fine-Davis suggests.
A certain ambivalence in the Irish character seems to make it easier for us to aspire to high goals, yet live happily with lower achievement of them. For example, the survey showed that the majority of people want men to have more flexible and part-time working so that they can be better fathers. Ninety per cent think it is reasonable for men to expect to have successful careers while also being good fathers, and 86 per cent want men to have a legal right to paternity leave (to be paid at least partially for it) and to take a greater role in caring for children, believing that men can be as good at caring as women.
The reality, however, is quite different, with few men taking a major role in caring duties, very few working flexible hours and most people believing that men's careers will suffer if they do. We seem to be at a point in our social development when our aspirations towards gender equality are all talk, and are yet to be reflected in employment practices or Government policies.
Myths Debunked
The New Man
He may boast proudly at work about his new baby, and complain a little about disturbed sleep, but underneath the bluster only 11.2 per cent of men in the 31-49 age group devote "a great deal" of time to caring for young children, compared to 68.8 per cent of women. According to the new report, men aged 18-30 are more likely to spend "a great deal" of their time on the practical day-to-day business of caring for children (25 per cent), but are still far less committed than women aged 18-30 (71.4 per cent). Employed men spent a mere 12.8 hours per week on caring and domestic tasks, compared to 26.6 hours for employed women.
Equality for working mothers
There is a hardcore of residual prejudice towards working women, especially mothers who work outside the home. Four out of 10 people (39 per cent) think that "it is bad for young children for their mothers to go out to work, even if they are well taken care of by another adult", a figure that is down from 68 per cent in 1978.
"While this represents a change in attitude, it still represents some ambivalence to maternal employment," the report states.
Traditional gender roles remain strong in family life. Some 69 per cent believe that "most women need and want the kind of protection and support that men have traditionally given them" (down from 75 per cent in 1986) and two-thirds (66 per cent) believe that "being a wife and mother are the most fulfilling roles that any woman could want", down from 77 per cent in 1978. Fine-Davis suggests that this widely held belief that motherhood comes first explains why many more women than men choose part-time work and express satisfaction with it.
Women are reporting that they are successfully combining work with family because most are not choosing ambitious careers, says Fine-Davis. More women are working part-time than men and they are working in less demanding jobs than men because this very inequality makes life easier when it comes to balancing work and family life.
Work hours conflict with family
We may whinge a lot about the pressures of combining careers and family life, but the reality is somewhat brighter. Three-quarters of employed people with caring commitments (76.9 per cent) say that their work hours create "no problems" or "not very much difficulty". But there are gender differences, with 28.4 per cent of employed women saying that their work hours created difficulty, compared to 17.8 per cent of men.
Nevertheless, if 71.6 per cent of working women with caring commitments say they have little or no difficulty with their work hours, that's good news, right?
The stressed commuter
Three-quarters of employed people find their commuting non-stressful, with an average commuting time to and from work of 58.7 minutes. Least stressed by commuting and work were women who walked to work. The shortest commuting times were enjoyed by people living in rural areas. The longest were - no surprise - suffered by Dubliners, with an average of 85 minutes.
Equality for working fathers
On the one hand, 90 per cent of people favour family-friendly work patterns and believe that flexible working is compatible with fatherhood. Yet the reality doesn't reflect this. While people are supportive of flexible working patterns in theory, in reality they see it as hampering career success, especially for men. Sixty per cent see flexitime or job-sharing as hampering a man's progress, while 72 per cent believe that people have to work over and above normal hours in order to succeed.
So while attitudes and aspirations have become more egalitarian in the past 25 years, the reality in the workplace has hardly budged.
Work is stressful for everyone
Yes, if you're young and especially if you're male. Most stressed by work were males aged 18 to 30 (62 per cent, compared to 56 per cent of women in the same age group). When financial worries are added, 70 per cent of young males are feeling stressed, while commuting boosts that to 75 per cent of young men. But the job alone caused stress for just 24 per cent of women aged 31 to 49, compared to 52.2 per cent of men in that age group, indicating that men have more of their identity wrapped up in work performance. The most stress for women came not from work, but from home. A considerable 56.7 per cent of employed women are stressed by caring and domestic activities (12.5 per cent), or by having to juggle these with work (44.2 per cent).
The uncaring employer
The advice that if you want to get ahead in your career, you should never talk about your family responsibilities, especially if you're female, may now be outdated. Sixty per cent of males and and 62.1 per cent of females say that their employers take their caring needs into account "very well" or "well", with an additional 20.9 per cent of men and 19.4 per cent of women reporting that their employers are merely "so-so" in this regard. More women (43.7 per cent) than men (35.5 per cent) rated their employers most highly, indicating either that women choose the kind of jobs that are more flexible, or that women are allowed more leeway than men.
The Budget sorted out childcare
A mere 5.6 per cent of people would like to see more roads built, yet 92 per cent want a national system of public childcare controlled and funded partially by the Government. The favoured system (supported by one-third of all people and 40 per cent of mothers of under-13s) is a joint Government/employer/parents approach. Yet the most recent Budget pumped billions in structural funds into roads, and settled for a relatively meagre investment in childcare, giving the money directly to parents of young children whether or not they used childcare facilities.
"The fact that only 21 out of 160 childcare facilities in the west passed HSE inspections of their services is an indictment of theGovernment's approach," says Fine-Davis. "What Cowen should have done was put the investment directly into creating an exemplary, free system of pre-school for three-year-olds, incorporated into what has already been achieved in infants' classes. This survey shows that this is the kind of approach that people want - a good-quality, egalitarian system provided by the Government."