Connect: The symbolism of George Bush's state visit to Britain next week will be loud and contentious. He will stay in Buckingham Palace. He will annex the resident queen as his latest co-star. He will use London as a backdrop for an election ad campaign. Aiming at voters back in the US, Bush will contrive to be seen as a new emperor in an old kingdom.
The gig is meant to show that the putative emperor is not isolated internationally. It could, however, be an isolating experience for Tony Blair. Bush will be in Britain for Thanksgiving but you couldn't blame the British prime minister if he's less than thankful for this imposition. For Blair, the so-called "Toxic Texan" may prove to be as toxic as those US hulks tied up in Hartlepool.
Such a gig is, of course, about image-making. Consequently Bush and his 700-strong entourage will want its images to play well on US television. Barring utter mayhem, they almost certainly will. Protests are planned - probably the biggest since two million anti-war demonstrators took to London's streets last February - but they are unlikely to lead bulletins on Fox News.
Even if, as one group of protesters plan, a giant Bush statue is toppled, Saddam-style, in Trafalgar Square, such symbolism will be minimised for the US public. For Bush, the trip to Britain will focus on endorsing him, his ideology and his ambitions with an ally's historic grandeur. Meanwhile, lap-dog Blair will have to smile as his political "pal" uses him for self-serving propaganda.
Blair must be fed up being widely seen as a lap-dog. Surely he craves to be perceived in a different light and, in fairness, Bush's visit might well change public perceptions of Britain's political leader. The problem for Blair, though, is that the most likely change of perception is from lap-dog to doormat, even if it won't be peddled or read that way in the United States.
Still, anti-war protesters are just a part of the looming problem. Their presence will be explained as proof of the vibrancy of democracy in Britain. Many may parade in rainbow Mohican haircuts, ugly biker boots and with multiple body piercings.
Thus they may easily be dismissed as anarchic malcontents, delinquents or no-hopers - the lunatic fringe at play.
But even Little Englander Tories, who supported the attack on Iraq, will be unable to avoid more ominous conclusions. The Bush visit, shamelessly using the queen, Buckingham Palace and historic London as naked propaganda, cannot but emphasise the unequal nature of American-British political relations. Bush stands to gain from the staged spectacle; Blair stands to lose.
Reports claim the Bush party has sought to have central London closed down for the wannabe emperor's visit. This move is said to be in order to stage an open carriage procession featuring the US president and the British queen along London's Mall.
However, with Britain's biggest ever security operation planned for the Bush visit, such an expensive performance may be shelved.
It's got to be galling for British people that a man, who is the most unpopular US leader in British memory, should seek a virtual Anschluss of their traditional political symbols. Bush's visit will inevitably return the focus of British politics to Iraq at a time when Blair would be happier with almost any other topic as front page and news bulletin leads.
Perhaps Charles Windsor - the man who would be king - will be pleased to have media attention switched from himself and his current woes. Likewise Ian Huntley and Maxine Carr, the accused in the Soham trial. But few British people will find their real feelings according with those artificially orchestrated by the spectacle planned for them in their capital city.
State occasions are invariably like that, of course. TV commentators speaking in slow, hushed, reverential voices are almost always embarrassing. State funerals, especially if genuine tragedy has brought them about, can sometimes justify dramatically solemn tones. Generally, however, the voice-overs for state gigs merely emphasise the vacuous pomp surrounding them.
Mind you, the Bush visit will not lack a funereal note: it will underscore the decline (if not quite death) of Britain's independence. After all, a poll this week in London's Times newspaper showed that half of the British public regard Blair's unwavering support for Bush as bad for Britain. Nonetheless, establishment Britain will kowtow to its people's least-liked US president.
Already, jokes are being cracked about Bush's safety being compromised by his staying with Britain's dysfunctional royal family. What, for instance, if Charles mistakes him for a servant? It's mere ribald codology, of course, but it does highlight just how thoroughly cynical many British people have become about their own establishment as well as about George Bush.
It's hard to blame them. Blair and his cronies have dragged them into a deeply unpopular "war". They've been lied to, ignored and had more than 50 soldiers killed. Yet Bush will bunk-up in Buckingham Palace and his party will use staged events from his stay there to try to get him re-elected. Despite the predictable rhetoric, this visit is not about protecting liberty. It's about taking one.