A woman who claims a radio personality sexually abused her when she was a child told the Central Criminal Court that for a long time afterwards he used other children to taunt and torture her mentally.
The now 33-year-old woman told the jury the accused attempted to rape her and regularly sexually abused her at his home; she had twice attempted suicide as she began to understand what he had done to her as a child.
Her young child's mind did not comprehend what was going on and reality only dawned on her when she studied biology in school and learnt "how babies were made". She said she had lain awake at night then, worried there might be a baby growing inside her.
Replying Mr Patrick McCarthy SC, prosecuting, she said she was seven when the abuse began and it continued until she was 10.When she became aware of what happened, she twice attempted to take her own life by cutting her wrists, became a "full-blown alcoholic" and was taking whiskey and Valium to school.
She shaved her head because she "did not want to be a woman" and hated the way she looked. She also withdrew from her family and could not speak to anyone about what was happening to her.
The woman, who now lives abroad, told the court it took her several years to realise that it was not she, but the accused man who should be ashamed.
She said she read in the newspaper the accused was setting up a child helpline through his radio station and could not restrain her anger as she realised that "this man was going to enjoy listening to the children's problems. He is going to get a kick out of this."
She went home, took a knife and marched over to the accused man's door with the intention of attacking him.
When she rang his door-bell, she said, a young boy answered the door "and it was midnight".
Further angered, she lunged at him with the knife, but unbeknownst to her, her mother had followed because by this time, her family knew that her troubles stemmed from the accused man's abuse of her.
She said the accused man then punched her mother in the chest, causing her to fall down. She herself went over to the accused man's car and smashed all the windows. Soon afterwards, gardaí came to the scene to arrest her and her mother.
"We went to court twice over this, but this man did not bother turning up." She said he could not bring himself to come to the court because he knew she was going to speak publicly of the things he had done to her.
The man has pleaded not guilty to 33 charges alleging sexual assaults on four females on dates from May 1974 to January 1989.
He denies one charge each of attempted carnal knowledge and attempted rape of two girls and 31 charges of indecent assault involving them and two other girls, all of them under 15 at the time.
The hearing continues.