When The Byrds gave advice on becoming a rock 'n' roll star, they may not have had this scenario in mind. Today, as every day, Westlife will do interviews to plug their new album. They will do photographs, provided their hair and make-up can be done in advance. One of them, Nicky, will phone Dustin the Turkey and get slagged by him, with the aim of pushing sales of the album and their forthcoming live shows. This evening, they will launch an album which has been already been on sale for five days. During the day, they will repeat lines such as: "we work really hard" and "we knew we would have to work hard". This week, as ever, Westlife are working hard.
But stop for a minute. When exactly did engagement with the work ethic become a reason to cheer a pop outfit? Isn't hard work supposed to be for the real world? What happened to pop as escapism? Why has Westlife's ridiculous schedule (a non-stop 48-hour trip around Britain to ensure they and not the Spice Girls would top the charts) become a reason to write about them? Do they ever wish they could have a lie-in? And do they ever get asked any more about the music? Believe it or not, Westlife do make music in between having their make-up done. Their new album, Coast To Coast - the name of a band who had a hit in the 1980s with a version of The Hucklebuck, trivia fans - may consist largely of bland ballads and slick layers of overproduced harmonies, but it is music of a kind. Disposable and unremarkable, it's the generic sound of today, a soundtrack for the Celtic Cub Ireland where style triumphs over substance and the ring tone on your mobile phone sets you apart from the pack.
The five chaps come and go throughout the interview. There are full Irish breakfasts to eat, photos to sign, passports to organise, phone calls to make and clothes to try on. They try to look enthusiastic but the attention spans are wandering. An interview? Nothing new there.
Mark scans the back cover of Judy May Murphy's The Girl From Happy and reads a few pages before giving up. Bryan breaks into an off-key version of Eurythmics's Sweet Dreams complete with a new line "some of them want to use you/some of them want to sexually abuse you" before disappearing with his phone. Shane arrives late on the scene, clutching a cup of warm water and a jar of honey. Kian stares into space. Nicky smiles. Another day in the life of a band who break records every other day.
Not that this makes them the new Beatles. There's an abrupt awakening when they're mentioned in the conversation: "You can't compare us with the Beatles, it's laughable," begins Mark. "Sure we had seven Number Ones, but the charts now, God, are nothing like they were then. Nothing.
"We're not The Beatles. They changed music, they were an absolute phenomenon, most people in the world know a Beatles' song." "We don't want to be The Beatles," continues Nicky. "Music has changed so much since then that you'll never beat them or be them. Even the likes of Oasis will never have the same impact as they did. They won't be playing Oasis in 20 years' time, maybe one track every now and then from What's The Story Morning Glory but that is it. Same with Westlife, I don't think radio stations will be playing our music in 20 years' time. Music like ours is so here now, gone tomorrow or in a few months or a few years. They might play a song from us once in a blue moon but it won't be like The Beatles. They were the complete package, not only could they sing but they had so much musical talent as well." As far as Westlife are concerned, this is simply a job. "Everyone works, this is our job, we're not on the doss," Kian says crabbily. "We're making a living. If this band splits up in five years, I want to have something to show for it. You hear these stories about bands who split up with nothing in their pockets after years at the top. That's not going to happen to us. We don't want to be in that position. If you travelled with us for a few days, you'd see how hard we work. Why we work so hard and why we are prepared to put up with this is because we know it could end as quickly as it began. We don't want to go back and end up working in a supermarket."
But for all of this - all those trips to the Far East and to the US, all the good things that come with being 21 and hanging out with Mariah Carey (though some may see this as a bad thing) - Kian is hard-pressed to remember it all. "Someone asked me yesterday about our first appearance on Top of the Pops and I couldn't remember it. We've been on TOTP seven or eight times and it's supposed to be the pinnacle of your pop career and I can't remember it." Yet they stay on the rollercoaster: "We can't slow down," Kian believes. "We have a level of success and we can't let it slip. We have to take it further, if we can at all. We have to milk it while we can."
Do they like what they are doing, playing tag with the music industry? "This business is worse than politics . . . I hate it." says Bryan.
"We are protected from it to an extent," maintains Nicky. "It's real `you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours'. We knew we had to be strong as a unit to get through that crap. It's like having an election every day, it's hard and it's stressful, you get up caught up in it. The more successful you are, the worse it gets. There are deals done with us left, right and centre that we have no idea about."
Enter the Fourth Estate, eager to have as many stories about the five as they can fit on one tabloid page. "It doesn't upset me any more, I can't let it," says Kian quietly. "Some girl sold a sex story about me and that annoyed me. There was a story in the Irish Sun last week which made me sound like a control freak when it came to money. The guy asked me what I knew about the business side of the industry but he put it across as if all I cared about was money. That's not true. What I care about is the band and that's what I am driven by." Shane takes a sip of his honey. "We're not trying to be older or intelligent, but we're in a business which does this to you. You grow up really fast when you see the crap that goes on. You realise that life isn't just about music or record companies or money, it's about enjoyment, its about your health. If you don't have your health, you have nothing. We deal every day with accountants and lawyers and banks and stuff that most 20-year-olds don't have to deal with. It's not normal and it's definitely not normal to have no control over your life like that." Ask them about what comes after Westlife and they're ready with answers. Nicky would like to present The Late late Show: "I may not be as good now as Pat Kenny, but I will be." Bryan would like to open a restaurant: "A chain like the Hard Rock Cafes, I have a good name for them but I won't mention it in case anyone else gets it." Mark and Shane want to keep singing. Surprisingly, Kian wants to stay in the business: "I'd like to go into management, I definitely want to stay in the music industry, I love the hassle." At least Kian will know the ropes to benefit his future clients. The awkward kids who emerged as Westlife 18 months ago are gone forever. The music business has taken care of that. Now, there are five tired young men who work too hard. But just as you can't remember a Bros or East 17 song now to save your life, you won't remember a Westlife track in three years' time. And you won't want to, because someone else will be having seven Number Ones in a row. Pop music - great, isn't it?
Coast to Coast is available now on RCA Records. Westlife play Dublin's The Point Depot, Dublin for most of March 2001.
Westlife - five young men who work too hard - `We don't want to go back and end up working in a supermarket'