We should all rejoice at the utterly spiffing success of "Operation Gladiator", the Garda campaign against prostitutes and brothels. There are few greater threats to civilisation than consenting adults having sex on a commercial basis.
Let us look at the reasoning behind this. Having sex with a stranger without payment is perfectly lawful. So is paying for a hair wash by a complete stranger. So is paying to have a health massage from a stranger. But paying for sex with a stranger must, of course, be stamped out ruthlessly. I only regret that we can't follow the Iranian way, by burying harlots up to their necks in sand and stoning them to death.
Our namby-pamby civil rights lobbies would probably draw the line at such eminently sensible methods of suppressing prostitution. There are probably some people who would even object to my modest proposals to strip these scarlet women naked, flog them black and blue, and roll 'em in salt 'n' vinegar: the Tayto treatment. By God, it makes their eyes water. Nothing like a whore in agony to make one feel morally uplifted.
Prudent measures
Yet, unbelievably, there are people who oppose such prudent measures. I can't imagine why. Not merely does it teach these vile creatures a lesson or two, but it also renders then incapable of earning a living as a prostitute for maybe months on end, and they become hungry and impoverished. Well, it does if you make a good job of it, and what can be possibly wrong with that? But no, far from applying simple, effective measures against these strumpets, Operation Gladiator requires the enforcement of due process, with loads of gardai tracking down these girls, and getting their clients to give evidence for the prosecution. And then come the time-consuming courts of law and so on.
At least Operation Gladiator means gardai are doing something. After all, there's nothing else for them to do these days. I mean, only 40,000 public order offences in the six months up to last April. Nothing in the least to worry our little heads about - though, admittedly, there are many parts of Dublin where random violence against strangers is commonplace. But, we all agree, that's not nearly so bad as paid sex with strangers.
Was it their entirely laudable desire to deal with women having paid sex with strangers which prompted the Association of Garda Sergeants and Inspectors to demand recently that the force be provided with new equipment, including longer batons and CS gas? Or was it the figure of reported public order offences, not to speak of the unreported ones, which has the force so worried that it has voted for larger and more efficient clubs, and gases which can disable?
Pressing need
Whatever the force may feel, we can be clear about that matter. The pressing need in Irish society is to end prostitution once and for all. So. What about bringing the death penalty back, but just for them only? No? Pity. Bit of torture then? What? Not even that? Bunch of spoilsports.
A couple of weeks ago, gardai raided a brothel in Pearse Street, which was nice and handy - if only other villains could be as thoughtful - and found a full financial ledger, including details of the regular clientele. Clearly, master criminals at work here. The court fined the brothel keeper, Stephen Hutton, £6,500 and gave him an 18month suspended jail sentence.
The previous thundering success for Operation Gladiator had been two months earlier, after a surveillance operation by the National Bureau of Criminal Investigation of suspected brothels owned by Justine Reilly. And why not? What else are gardai going to do? As we all know, there are no road deaths to speak of, no speeding, the Real IRA doesn't exist, and there are only 6,500 public order offences a month, or a mere 1620 a week, which comes out to about 232 a day, or one every six minutes. So what are poor, bored gardai to do but stamp out prostitution?
They got Justine bang to rights, as the saying goes; though I've no idea what it means. She told the court she had been working as a prostitute, but had set up her own business because of the unsavoury characters she had met in the trade. She was fined £11,500 and given a 12-month suspended sentence. Well, Justine, you were lucky you didn't come up before me: I'd have put you in the stocks, flogged you, branded you and had you keelhauled around the fleet, before giving you the Tayto treatment.
Serious crime
Now the cleverer readers might have twigged by this time that I've perhaps not meant every word I've said here. All that subtle irony, et cetera. So why Operation Gladiator? Who are the victims here? The willing women, or the willing men? Or is somebody else the victim? Is it Catholic Mother of Ten, Knock, who is outraged that this kind of carry-on still exists? And why are good, honourable gardai, who, I'm sure, would rather chase serious crime, being deployed about this witless, purposeless folly?
What is the likely outcome of closing down well-run, orderly brothels, in which prostitution is not in itself illegal? It will be to put the girls back on the streets, where they can be charged with soliciting. And then what is gained? Where the social benefit? Who is in any way better, and how?