An Irishman's Diary

THE ROW over Monasterboice and its inadequate signage reminds me of one of Co Louth’s less celebrated ecclesiastical attractions, which was part of the itinerary many years ago of my first school tour.

Not having revisited the place recently, I can’t comment on how informative the signs there are. But I suspect they work quite well at drawing in tourists; if only because, by means of a title alone, “The Jumping Church of Kildemock” does not sell itself short.

On the contrary, even if you accept the supernatural event implied therein, the name is a bit of an exaggeration. For one thing, its use of the present participle might suggest ongoing activity, jumps-wise, whereas even folk tradition limits itself to claiming that the church leapt only once. That was back in February 1715. In the almost three centuries since, it has not moved an inch.

Furthermore, it wasn’t the entire 14th-century structure that jumped, only the gable wall. And while we’re quibbling, it only jumped three feet, modest enough for a church vault (as it were), at least in the context of supposed supernatural involvement.

Then again, this was a wall (the west gable) weighing an estimated 40 tons. So for it to move at all, in any way other than falling over – and the church was already a ruin by the time of the supposed event – would have been an impressive achievement.

Furthermore, according to the story, it took off from a standing start and landed, still standing, a metre or so away, in the building’s interior. Discounting possible wind assistance, this would surely be a world record for a church, not just in the long jump but in the high jump too.

In fact, searching for possible rival claimants to the record, I discovered the “Jumping Church of Clonegal” in Co Wicklow. Which, from the initial descriptions, sounded even more athletic.

To wit, residents there claimed it was known for leaping from one side of the road to the other. And that far from being an isolated incident, this continued to happen every time you approached the village. On closer inspection, however, the effect was attributed to a mere optical trick played by topography and the winding road. The church itself remains fixed to its foundations throughout, unlike the one in Louth.

I MENTIONEDthe possibility of wind in the Kildemock phenomenon. And sure enough, that is what passes for a rational explanation. Specifically it's said that on that February night 296 years ago, a gale sheared the wall off its foundations and lifted it several feet into the nave, before settling it down again, upright and intact.

But notwithstanding the awe-inspiring power that we know tornadoes and other freak wind conditions to have, this is one case where the scientific explanation hardly seems any more credible than the local legend.

The latter, as I remember it from the school tour, involved a stonemason who had been working on another church in the area. He may have been a freemason too. In any case, he had earned himself excommunication while alive. And as a consequence, when he died, there were problems burying him anywhere else.

So finally, for whatever reason, he was interred at Kildemock, within the ruined church walls, at least one of which decided he didn’t belong there. Modest as it was, the gable wall’s jump was sufficient to exclude the sinner’s remains. Which done and ever since, the church – whatever about the mason – has rested in peace.

THERE AREno jumping churches in Co Cork – so far as I'm aware, anyway. Yes, it's well-known that the world's first "steeple-chase" took place there in 1752, between Buttevant and Doneraile.

But contrary to what you might think if you’d just been to Louth and Wicklow, this did not involve the pursuit of a runaway religious building. It was merely a long-distance horse race, over walls and hedges, with church steeples marking the start and finish. The event is still commemorated locally, and so it should be. Yet the people of Doneraile are given to higher-minded pursuits too. And to this end, on the first weekend of August, the town will host a Literary Arts Festival in venues including Creagh Castle, St Mary’s Church and the gardens of Doneraile Court.

Writers to attend include Michael D Higgins, Ulick O’Connor, Gabriel Fitzmaurice, and many others. Dr Andrew King will give a lecture about the Elizabethan poet Edmund Spenser, who lived for a time here. The weekend will also involve drama, classical music and much besides, full details or which are at historicdoneraile.ie