Sir, – 310. He couldn’t draw a straight line with a ruler. (How my mum described my artistic ability). – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 311. She has a nose that would poke a rat out from under a bed. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 312. I left him below where I found him above. (A Clareman’s comment after talking to a TD who acted the buaileam (ie the braggart). – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 313. About a bad singer: If he was shot for being a singer, he’d die innocent! – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 314. He’d give a headache to an ambulance. – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 315. A few sporting insults from Brandywell Stadium, home of Derry City FC and greyhound racing: You’re worse than a man short! (when a player is having a stinker). 316. Your mammy wants you for your tea! (ditto). 317. Bring on the dogs! (when the whole team’s having a stinker). – Yours, etc,
Sir, – 318. “A parcel of big ugly fat-necked wombat headed big bellied magpie legged narrow hipped splaw-footed sons of Irish Bailiffs or English landlords which is better known as Officers of Justice or Victorian Police who some call honest gentlemen.” (Ned Kelly’s Jerilderee Letter). – Yours, etc,