Sir, - As one who can scarcely contain his indifference to the game of rugby, might I offer the following suggestions arising from the most recent and lamentable performances on the rugby field by an Irish team.
l. Since, unlike most of England's other near neighbours, we are finding it increasingly difficult to pass muster at this particular masculine and physical manifestation of English public-school life should we not give ourselves a chance by playing England at Gaelic football on alternate years? If this were to succeed as a fixture we could then reciprocate by playing the Scots at caber-tossing the Welsh at choral singing and launch an all-out gastronomic assault on all Michelin-starred restaurants in France, I will make myself available for selection for the latter team.
2. Failing the above, I would suggest that our rugby team simply refuse to turn up for the next fixture. This will both avoid humiliating defeat and annoy the opposing supporters which, to some, may be a small compensation. - Yours in despair and disgust,
Georgian Village, Dublin 15.