Are internet shrines cementing the normalisation of suicide, asks Breda O'Brien.
THE DEATH of any young person is tragic: the deaths by suicide of two boys attending the same school within such a short span represents an almost unbearable burden for families, friends, the school and a small community such as Westport. No one factor, much less any one person can be blamed for suicide, but guilt it triggers in those left behind is devastating. They will question themselves constantly as to whether they could have done more, or should have spotted warning signs. At the back of everyone's mind will be the terror of others following suit.
Perhaps that is why I found it somewhat jarring that several newspapers and RTÉ television's Six One Newsreported that the second boy had left a message on the first boy's Bebo site shortly before his own suicide.
Social networking sites are relatively new aspects of technology, and no one can be sure of their impact. However, it is well-established that there is such a thing as suicide contagion or imitative deaths. Media reporting can have an impact, particularly on those who are vulnerable, or who perceive themselves as being similar to the person being described. As a result, there are guidelines about not dwelling on the means of suicide, on keeping the reporting low-key, and not reporting funerals in a way that would almost glorify or normalise the decision to die by suicide.
However, the internet, and social networking sites, are Injun territory. It is a land of the young, where few adults venture. There has been a disturbing rise of memorial websites that can only be described as internet shrines to the person who has died by suicide.
The tone of the messages posted tends to be very much as if the person were still alive. Very rarely do they acknowledge the devastation that such deaths cause. There are several such sites dedicated to some of the young people who died in the infamous recent cluster of suicide deaths in Bridgend.
Are such sites a useful outlet for grief, or less benign? Speaking to Ursula Bates, a clinical psychologist who specialises in bereavement, she said that of course we want young people to express their feelings, and these sites can be cathartic. However, with other forms of public mourning, such as the laying of flowers after Princess Diana's death, the gestures come to a natural end. Someone sweeps the flowers away, and it marks an end to a stage of grieving. However, internet sites can go on forever. She points out that death is best managed by community rituals that help people to cope by giving structured expression to grief. One of her concerns about Bebo is that it represents such a "thin slice" of community - people of the same age, grieving in a way that is largely inaccessible to adults. It is almost like grief happening in parallel, rather than in an inter-generational way.
At times of tragic death, we want to draw young people back into the network of wider community support, rather than have them isolate themselves from the potential support offered by the adults in their lives. She urges caution about leaping to conclusions about such sites, but believes the questions need to be raised, particularly with young people.
I believe it is worrying that while most reporting of suicide is very careful nowadays, there is no restraint about virtually canonising the young person on an internet site, and glossing over any difficulties they may have had. This is very natural and understandable, but to a troubled teen, seeing the adoration for the dead peer expressed on these sites may be a contributory factor in a suicide attempt. Are the sites contributing to the denial of the finality, the cold reality of death?
Prof Kevin Malone of UCD, a respected suicide researcher, says we must rapidly learn more about 21st century adolescent "virtual social networks". He says that in times of crisis or impending crisis, we have no idea what role the internet may have for young people, but we know it is an enormous new social influence.Early findings from the Suicide in Ireland Survey he presented at the World Congress of the International Association for Suicide Prevention in Killarney last August suggest we are seriously underestimating the impact of youth suicide on their peers in communities across Ireland.
The study identified and reported the evolution of several youth suicide clusters. He reports that ongoing postings to the Bebo site of the deceased was quite common by peers. "One suicide-deceased subject in our study had over 5,000 hits and postings on his Bebo site in the months after of his death. It certainly seems if these kids have a notion of 'virtual life-after-death', which is divorced from the reality and finality of death and its consequences for those around them."
Communities and schools attempting to deal with such events do so with trepidation. They have to maintain a balance between expressing respect and compassion for the deceased, and sensitivity to the grief and sadness of the bereaved, but without glorifying the action of suicide itself.
All this takes place against a background where suicide is now virtually normalised as almost a predictable response to extreme stress. Are social networking websites and internet shrines cementing that normalisation?