It's time to hit back against the accursed breed of toddlers, tweens and teens, writes Fintan O'Toole
THESE PEOPLE are parasites. They live off other people's hard work. They always have their hands out looking for more. They contribute nothing to the real economy. They are utterly self-centred, viewing the whole universe through the tiny prism of their own insatiable demands. They are constantly looking for bonuses and pats on the back. They swan around with their personal shoppers, personal trainers, personal bodyguards, and even personal bloody dressers. For all the whingeing about last week's Budget, the Government deserves great credit for finally standing up to them. It's payback time.
It occurs to me that some facetious readers might misunderstand the foregoing and assume that I'm talking about bankers or property speculators. Actually, I'm talking about children. Their smug, arrogant belief that someone, somewhere owes them a living has been tolerated in the name of pinko sentimentality. Thankfully, our Government has realised that times are too tough for this kind of indulgence. Not since WC Fields kicked that annoying child in the backside in The Old Fashioned Wayhas a finer blow been struck against the little horrors. In the immortal words of the Ramones, the Government has decided to "beat on the brats with a baseball bat".
It is a pity that the debacle of removing medical cards from the over-70s has dominated reaction to the Budget. The handling of that issue gives the impression of a Government in a state of panic, confronted by the consequences of its own idiocies and kicking out wildly at the softest targets. But if we look at the attack on children, we can see that this impression is false. This is no panic measure. It is detailed, consistent, systematic and orchestrated. Every possible opportunity to hit back against the accursed breed of toddlers, tweens and teens has been taken.
The detail is truly impressive. To take one example, the entire State grant for the Irish Centre for Talented Youth has been withdrawn. This obnoxious institution is based on the notion that high-performing children need a kind of intellectual stimulation that the mainstream education system can't provide. In fact, of course, these little know-alls are even more irritating than the rest, and encouragement is the last thing they need.
The Government has recognised this and pulled the rug out from the whole dastardly scheme. What is particularly noteworthy is that the saving is €97,000 - about the cost of one TD's basic salary (before top-ups and expenses). Since this makes no difference to the Exchequer, it shows that kicking the children is a matter of principle.
That principle has been applied with daunting thoroughness. It was unacceptable, for example, that Ireland had the second highest primary school class sizes in the EU. And the Government has responded to this shameful situation by making sure that we now have the highest - second worst isn't good enough. Taking hundreds, even thousands, of teachers out of the system will hit the children where it hurts. It will cost them more to get to school (the school transport fee for junior cycle pupils is almost doubled). They will have fewer books (all State funding for school libraries is gone and money to help poorer pupils to buy school books has been massively cut) - a healthy increase in illiteracy should cut down on the future production of novels and memoirs whinging about their increasingly miserable Irish childhoods. Fripperies like field trips and practical exams will be abolished by the restrictions on teacher substitutions, keeping them locked up in school longer and out of the sight of decent, productive citizens. Grants for stuff like physics and chemistry equipment will be gone - it's not as if we have a shortage of scientists coming through for our world-class knowledge economy.
The beauty of these measures is that they are carefully targeted against the worst of children, those stupid enough to be born into vulnerable families. By cutting capitation funding for Traveller children, limiting the number of language teachers for migrant kids too lazy to have acquired fluent English before they came here, effectively cutting the back-to-school clothing and footwear allowance, delaying the establishment of a statutory basis for special needs provision, and cutting grants for youth services by 8 per cent, the Government will help to ensure that only the fittest survive. And by abolishing the Centre for Early Childhood Development and Education, the Educational Disadvantage Committee and the Combat Poverty Agency, it has ensured there will be fewer independent voices to bleat about child poverty and educational inequality.
There is still much to be done. The small changes in child benefit will help to keep some of these creatures out of third-level education, but this odious system has yet to be abolished. In fairness, however, the 1 per cent levy does disproportionately affect the families in which the 230,000 children at risk of poverty are concentrated. The message has been sent out for these tough times - you're on your own, kid.