Verona Murphy was on a Whac-A-Mole mission in the Dáil chamber, swinging her mallet like Wexford’s answer to Thor.
Up popped Sinn Féin’s Pádraig Mac Lochlainn.
Whack!
Up popped the Taoiseach.
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Whack!
Up popped Paul Murphy of People Before Profit-Solidarity.
Whack!
Up popped the Taoiseach.
Whack!
The Ceann Comhairle was taking no prisoners when the Dáil returned this week. Give those TDs an inch and they steal a mile. All they do is take liberties with time.
Allow them a little latitude and the next minute it’s wholesale ructions and we’re disgraced in front of the world.
Verona knows this because she has lived it.
But not any more. She’s had on-the-job training.
Now, the big countdown clock in the chamber is the Ceann Comhairle’s boss. If a deputy dares stray beyond their allotted slot, the mallet comes out and they are thwacked back into their box.
Even the Taoiseach is in the firing line.
He sounded rather aggrieved by this turn of events after he was biffed on the bonce not once, but several times, when the warring parties attempted to revisit last Wednesday’s row of the week over the use of unparliamentary language in the Dáil.
Bréagagate was always going to come up when hostilities resumed.
The intervening weekend has not lessened Sinn Féin’s distress over Micheál Martin accusing party leader Mary Lou McDonald of telling lies while addressing her in Irish during Leaders’ Questions.
“Tá an Teachta Dala ag insint bréaga aris.”
Mary Lou remains most put out by this. Party Whip Pádraig MacLachlainn continues to simmer.
[ Harsh to blame Verona Murphy after Micheál Martin ignites slow-burning brouhahaOpens in new window ]
They still want the Taoiseach to apologise and correct the record. They wanted it from him first thing.
Because TDs, including members of Sinn Féin, simply don’t hurl accusations of lying across the floor at fellow deputies. At least not every single day.
But rules are rules and if the countdown clock in the chamber is boss during proceedings, a sacrosanct guide called “Salient Rulings of the Chair” is the Ceann Comhairle’s bible.
Verona is determined to keep an orderly House.
And so, with her Whac-A-Mole mallet in one fist and her Salient Rulings of the chair in the other, she set out to neutralise any chance of last week’s brawl happening again before business commenced on Tuesday.
Despite some pushback, she pre-empted any unpleasantness by reading a short statement. She later cited the relevant rule when it looked like Pádraig might simmer over.
The Ceann Comhairle gave a potted history of Bréagagate.
Deputy McDonald complained that the Taoiseach accused her of “telling lies”. He responded by saying he did no such thing. “He says he accused the Deputy of telling untruths.”
Mary Lou listened intently, murmuring “not true, not true” as Verona set out her procedural stall, adding “by way of context” that the Taoiseach instanced where Opposition members “used the word “liar” or variations thereof” at previous sittings without incurring any sanction.
So between the jigs and the reels, Verona is kicking the entire squabble over to the committee on procedures and privileges and she will also circulate a 2010 report on bad language to all TDs for consideration and then the committee can examine it to see if it should be updated.
Why are there still so few women in Irish politics?
And that’s that for now.
She announced she was moving on.
“Aah, Ceann Comhairle, is he not going to withdraw what he said,” groaned Pádraig loudly.
Micheál threw up his hands in exasperation.
The Sinn Féin whip was on his feet. Verona batted him down. He tried resisting but she insisted her ruling was made and if his leader speaks when called she would move on to the next leader.
Whack!
“Fair enough,” said Pádraig, sitting down.
Mary Lou McDonald was duly called, but before she got a chance to speak the Taoiseach popped up.
“Ceann Comhairle, Ceann Comhairle!”
Whack!
“No, Taoiseach!”
Up he got again as the noise levels rose and he protested that he wanted his say on what had just gone on.
Verona swiped him again with the mallet.
“Taoiseach. Taoiseach. Please.”
She called again on Mary Lou as the Sinn Féin benches howled at Micheál’s attempt to make himself heard.
“I haven’t been allowed to address this in any shape or form.”
Whack!
“ ... and I have offered.”
Whack!
“Resume the business of the House,” cried Verona, swinging her arm in a helicopter motion.
Ten out of 10 to Micheál for perseverance. Up he got again.
“For the record of the House, I offered to intervene ...”
Whack!
“Teeee-seach!”
“ ... and I have been refused,” said Micheál sadly.
Verona was not for turning.
“Throw him out,” said Sinn Féin’s Aengus Ó Snodaigh.
Micheál threw in the towel.
But it didn’t end there for the Taoiseach.
When Paul Murphy of People Before Profit–Solidarity asked his follow-up question about the energy regulator’s decision to allow data centres to decide for themselves whether to use fossil or renewable fuels, he had just one minute to make his point.
Verona kept her eye on the countdown clock.
Micheál rose to make his reply.
Verona’s grip tightened on the mallet.
“Taoiseach, to respond, please. You have half a minute.”
“What? Sorry?”
“Half a minute. Deputy Murphy took half your time.”
Micheál was nonplussed.
“It’s not my half–minute,” he told her, puzzled.
Verona stood her ground. “Well, I think we should respect the time of the House.”
He got the bare 30 seconds, enough to tell Paul Murphy – “I care about climate, just as much as you do.”
Paul said it didn’t look like it. Micheál followed up by saying he also cares about workers – “not so sure that you do, really”.
The socialist TD shot back by asking him how many jobs are in data centres.
Whack!
“Deputy Murphy, the Taoiseach is speaking.”
Later, during the Order of Business, Independent Alliance TD for Cork North–Central Ken O’Flynn risked getting an almighty belt of the Ceann Comhairle’s mallet when he mentioned the L word again in the chamber.
He asked the Taoiseach about the refurbishment of the famous Shandon Clock in Cork city.
“In 1752, the bells of Shandon rang for the first time. In 1847, the clock mechanism was installed, with Cork Corporation and later Cork City Council being responsible for it ... From 1847 to 1859, it was the biggest clock face in Europe” he told Micheál, who represents Cork South–Central.
Would he commit his Government to fund the reported €400,000 cost of “the refurbishment of the four-faced liar in Cork”?
The Taoiseach knew what Ken was talking about. There would be no repeat of Bréagagate here.
“You are clearly in line with standing orders because that’s what, colloquially, Shandon – the clock, is known as.”
Of course, Micheál is “very sympathetic to facilitating that request” and promised he will speak to the relevant Minister about “one of Cork’s greatest landmarks”.
And that’s no lie.
