The athletes’ Olympic Village has not, on the whole, received favourable reviews from its occupants since they all began arriving for the Games, the chief complaints being about the food, uncomfortable cardboard beds, itchy duvets that are too warm and the lack of air conditioning.
The Tahiti-based surfers are, though, well chuffed with their digs – a cruise ship with eight decks, a gym, a spa, a 24-hour diningroom and an activity centre with table tennis and football tables.
But? “There is only one potential issue with their accommodation – the Germans,” according to BroBible. What’s the problem? “Tim Elter and Camilla Kemp have turned the Olympics boat into a party boat. In an effort to get other countries in on the action, Elter puts his speaker on a leash, swings it over the side of the boat and lowers it down to other rooms. It forces everybody to embrace the energy whether they like it or not.”
It’s as well surfers are generally chilled, otherwise it’d be a case of “man overboard”.
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Bare men don’t bear arms
The fuss about the opening ceremony rumbles on, even after the Paris 2024 organising committee apologised to groups offended by the Last Supper-like segment – one that featured drag queens, a transgender model and an almost-naked person sitting in a fruit bowl, like you do.
But that very person, French actor Philippe Katerine, has defended his, well, lack of clothing, arguing that nudity represents “harmlessness”.
“Would there have been wars if we’d stayed naked,” he asked CNN. “You can’t hide a gun or a dagger when you’re naked.” That echoed a line from the song he sang during the ceremony: “Where to hide a revolver when you’re completely naked,” he crooned while pointing to his nether regions. “I know what you’re thinking. But that’s not a good idea.” Indeed.
He has a point, you know – how many unarmed naked people have started wars?
Swiss test
Swiss rower Célia Dupré was, no doubt, hoping to get a good night’s sleep before she embarked on her quadruple sculls campaign, she and her team-mates staying in a hotel near the rowing venue rather than in the Olympic Village.
But come four in the morning (four!), less than 12 hours before their heat, there was a knock on her door – the drug testers had arrived, so up she had to get to give a sample.
The team subsequently only managed third in that heat, Dupré possibly yawning her way through it, but two days later they won their repechage. Perhaps after a good night’s sleep?
All that glitters ...
Have you noticed just how sparkly the leotards of the United States’ women’s gymnastics team have been? There’s a reason for that. “A staggering 47,000 Swarovski crystals are scattered across the eight different leotards worn by the team,” according to Reuters.
The company who made them say they “draw inspiration from classic American patriotism and old Hollywood glamour while blending sophisticated Parisian high fashion and sparkling light to pay homage to the host city”.
Each leotard costs about €2,770, so the total bill for the eight given to each member of the team is €22,170-ish.
“Regardless of their performance, I want them to feel amazing and beautiful when they go out and represent the USA in a leotard that they can be proud of,” said Annie Heffernon of USA Gymnastics. For that investment, though, you’d guess the least that will be expected is gold.
In words
“You know what women are like ... hanging around, doing their make-up.” – And with that, Eurosport dropped commentator Bob Ballard from their Olympic coverage for his comment about the Australian women’s 4x100m relay team .
In numbers
11 – That’s the age of the youngest competitor at these Games, Chinese skateboarder Zheng Haohao – although she’ll turn a rusty 12 in a month’s time.
