So what do we do with ourselves now? Apart from practising our Breaking? Possibly the only event on view in Paris where we all said: ‘I could do that!’
Well, maybe specifically Rachael ‘Raygun’ Gunn’s routine, she being the poor Aussie who received zero points after a display that resembled someone scrambling around on the floor looking for a dropped contact lens, with some kangaroo hopping thrown in. –
Sometimes our pundits are criticised for being too harsh on our sports people, but you should have tuned in to Sky News Australia to hear Rita Panahi’s verdict on Raygun’s efforts.
“For the first time in my life I watched a member of the Australian Olympic team and knew with 100 per cent certainty that I could do better. I am delighted that we are not allowed show you any footage from the Paris Games because, trust me, her performance was so excruciatingly bad that people genuinely believed that it was some elaborate joke. But alas, it was all too real.”
What Raygun needed after her performance was not Rita’s opprobrium, rather a chat with a certain RTÉ man. As the comedian Colm O’Regan put it, “In future I will only speak to David Gillick after every disappointing moment”.
Because it fell to David each and every time to comfort our athletes after their hearts had been broken, not least our relay team of Sophie Becker, Rhasidat Adeleke, Phil Healy and Sharlene Mawdsley after Saturday evening’s fourth-place finish in the 4x400m final.
“Sophie, I know it’s hard, but an amazing first leg.” “Rhasidat, I know yesterday, a hard night, but you dusted yourself down and you put in an unbelievable second leg.” “Phil, the third leg, you held your own, so much went right for you.” “Sharlene, I know it’s tough, but you lined it up, you did absolutely everything right.”
That’s not to say the Fab Four were floating on air by the time the chat was done, but their deflated spirits had been lifted a bit, which was no bad thing.
“There you go, another counselling session with David Gillick,” as Darragh Maloney put it back in the studio.
A Boom-Shaka-Laka gong to David, then. And to his commentating colleague Greg Allen who, you suspect, knows more about, say, Tajikistan’s 3,000m steeplechase representatives (no, we have no clue if they had any) than Tajikistan’s 3,000m steeplechase representatives know about themselves.
Declan Quigley and Lydia Boylan were a great listen too in the cycling.
“I love the Madison, it’s my favourite event,” said Lydia. “Actually, they’re all my favourite events.”
Nothing tops enthusiasm.
Come the end of it all it was time for that Groundhog-Day-post-every-single-Olympics discussion about the funding of Irish sport, and how we need to up it if we are to push on. And no harm at all in beating that drum, as Rob Heffernan did.
“How do we build on this,” Darragh asked him. “I’ve gone to five Olympics and I come home and we all get caught up in the hype,” he said. “Everything is forgotten about. Double the funding for the next four years – look at the impact it has on society.”
Sonia O’Sullivan echoed the don’t-rest-on-your-laurels sentiment.
“We can be satisfied with the results that we’ve got, but we can’t be comfortable with them. We can say, ‘yeah, it was great, but we can do better’.”
And Derval O’Rourke doffed her cap to the high performance facilities now blossoming in Dublin, but politely pointed out that Dublin isn’t actually Ireland.
“We need hubs around the country,” she said, Rob pointing out that “we have one track in Cork – the size of Cork!”.
“Just invest in sport,” he said. “Look how positive it makes everybody. We do need investment. The girls are going to come off the plane, they’ll be in the Áras, all of the politicians will be around them. So put your money where your mouth is now and let’s back them.”
Wise words. We’ll see if they’re heeded.
Alas, Breaking won’t be in the programme for LA 2028, and before you blame Raygun, that was decided before her kangaroo hopping. Cricket, baseball/softball, flag football, lacrosse and squash will be in, though, so send yer kids in those directions. (Flag football? No idea).
But adieu Paris, you put on one heck of a show. Thanks for the memories, Daniel Wiffen, Fintan McCarthy, Paul O’Donovan, Rhys McClenaghan, Kellie Harrington, Mona McSharry, Daire Lynch and Philip Doyle, and the whole team. A Boom-Shaka-Laka of a Games for our crew.
