Planet Marathon: Not that we want to be giving you any ideas, but when we read last month about the former Mexican presidential candidate Roberto Madrazo being disqualified from the Berlin marathon after taking a shortcut, en route to "winning" the men's over-55 category, we had a look through the archives for similarly quirky tales of cheating.

And, alas, there were many.

So, on the podium . . .

Bronze

Madrazo's attempts at fooling the Berlin officials weren't, to be honest, the smartest. First, with the assistance of an electronic tracking chip, they noted that for him to have finished the race in two hours 41 minutes and 12 seconds he would need to have covered the 15 kilometres between the 20km and 35km marks in . . . 21 minutes.

And when he crossed the finish-line he was wearing a wind breaker, hat and long, skin-tight running pants, on a balmy day.

Still, Madrazo trails one Abbes Tehami in the race for the title of "least bright marathon cheat".

As the New York Timesput it back in 1991, "A marathoner can expect to lose at least six pounds during a race, but a moustache?"

Yes, Tehami "began" the Brussels marathon with an exceedingly hairy upper lip, but by the time he crossed the winning line the moustache had disappeared - and no one noticed him shaving it off mid-race.

As it proved, the Algerian's coach, Bensalem Hamiani, had started the race and after seven-and-a-half miles "veered into the woods and passed the bib on to his pupil".

Tehami's fresh legs helped him catch up with the leaders, pass them, and win the race. But, on realising they'd been sussed, the pair scarpered, leaving the €5,000-odd winner's cheque for the Russian Anatoly Karipanov.

Silver

Cuban-born Rosie Ruiz famously won the 1980 Boston marathon in a record time of 2:31:56, only to be disqualified after officials concluded she had jumped on to the course from the crowd, with a mile to go, and sprinted to the finish. When asked why she didn't appear remotely fatigued after "winning", Ruiz replied: "I got up with a lot of energy this morning." Indeed.

There was, though, never any conclusive proof Ruiz cheated, and to this day she maintains her innocence (and has refused to return her medal), but there were also doubts about her completion of the New York marathon six months earlier, when a photographer reported seeing her on the subway during the race.

Whatever the truth, life hasn't been good for Ruiz since 1980, the now 54-year-old, who lives in Florida, spending brief spells in prison for stealing from the real estate company she worked for and for trying to sell cocaine to undercover policemen.

Gold

His story might be 103 years old, but Fred Lorz remains the marathon's most famous cheat. There are countless versions of what exactly happened in the 1904 Olympic Games in St Louis. We'll opt for this one: Lorz, drained after nine miles, on a sizzling-hot afternoon (only 14 of the 32 starters made it to the end), hitched a lift for the next 10 miles and then jogged his way to victory in the Olympic stadium, in three hours, 13 minutes.

Having had his picture taken with Alice Roosevelt, daughter of the then US president, Lorz was about to be awarded the gold medal when he was rumbled. The race was awarded to Thomas Hicks, an English-born American who - and we kid you not - was fuelled that day by a combination of strychnine and brandy.

Lorz insisted the whole business was just a joke, but he was initially banned from all future races. The ban was lifted, though, and the New Yorker won the Boston marathon the following year in 2:38:25.

Whether he was tested for strychnine and brandy, we can't say.

Honourable mentions

Bart Simpson once did a "Rosie Ruiz" to win the Springfield marathon - beating his father, Homer, who despite being armed with "anti-chafing nipple tape" hit the first of many walls on the start-line.

In 2005, Jean's Marines did a Bart in the Marine Corp marathon in Washington. Led by a Jean Marmoreo, 40 women were disqualified after it was discovered they travelled most of the course by bus, reaching the Iwo Jima Memorial "where they then collected medals and hugs from waiting marines".

They were banned from all future Marine Corps marathons.