September Road: Homer: "Keep your head down, follow through."Bart putts and misses. Homer: "Okay, that didn't work. This time, move your head and don't follow through."
One of the main (and best) reasons the qualifier format was adopted at the start of the 2001 senior football championship was to give so-called weaker counties a second chance.
However, of late, the GAA decided this system was not working - and so, presumably after looking to Homer (the American, not the Greek) for inspiration, they decided to see what happens if they place the weaker counties at an even greater disadvantage from the off.
And so, the eight teams that had the worst NFL campaigns this season are not eligible for this summer's All-Ireland qualifiers - unless they miraculously reach a provincial final.
Talk about hitting a team when they're down. The affected are Antrim, Carlow, Clare, London, Offaly, Tipperary, Waterford and Wicklow.
The Waterford footballers defeated Clare yesterday - the first win by the county in the championship in 19 years. Their reward? In order to make the All-Ireland championship proper Waterford now need to beat All-Ireland champions Kerry in the Munster semi-final. No back door. For Clare, it's into the Tommy Murphy Cup.
And despite a highly entertaining draw at Croke Park, if Wicklow lose the replay next weekend they are out of the All-Ireland championship - no back door for them either. But if Louth lose, they're still in the race - entering the football qualifiers.
In fact, if Wicklow win the replay, they play Wexford in the Leinster quarter-final. Should they lose, they're out of the All-Ireland championship.
If Wexford lose, they are still in it.
A cruel system for Wicklow and the other seven teams, but also for football fans robbed of the underdog run we've grown accustomed to.
After finishing in the bottom four in Division Two A last season, Longford beat Waterford and Tipperary in the first qualifier rounds, before shocking Derry in a great game to earn a date with Kerry. If the new rules had been introduced in 2006, one of the stories of last summer would never have been written.
Similarly, in 2005 - after finishing in the bottom four in Division Two B - Louth beat Waterford in the first round of the qualifiers, before upsetting Roscommon (on the same day that Clare - another member of the bottom-four club - beat Westmeath). Louth then ran Monaghan to one point in Breffni Park in the third round.
Remember 2004? Derry's run of scalps from the first qualifier round - Wicklow, Cavan, Wexford, Limerick and Westmeath. They were stopped by Kerry in an All-Ireland semi-final.
But, because Derry lost to Tyrone in the Ulster quarter-final and had earlier finished in the bottom four in the NFL Division Two B - according to the new GAA rules - they had no right even participating in the All-Ireland championship.
Which team would have made a similar run this summer? Because of the new rules, we'll never know.
Uniform progress
In October, 2002, the Police Service of Northern Ireland (PSNI) played a Gaelic football match against An Garda Síochána at Westmanstown - following the GAA's decision to get rid of Rule 21 the previous year.
For the record, Garda won, 1-18 to 2-8, and were presented with the McCarthy Cup (no, not Liam, but George, a member of the RIC and one of the founders of the GAA movement).
Just as significantly, this week will witness the first time the police force from Northern Ireland play in an official GAA competition - notwithstanding the training college's participation in the Sigerson Cup - the PSNI's first XV taking part in the Antrim Inter-Firms League this Thursday.
Newsflash: Eoin Kelly may not be infallible. In the South Tipperary hurling semi-final yesterday, Killenaule upset Mullinahone 2-12 to 0-10 to set up a final date with Ballingarry. But the fact favourites Mullinahone lost wasn't the biggest surprise - incredibly, the Tipperary scoring machine didn't score.
