Come the end of July, many of us will be roaring on Team Ireland at the Paris Olympics. On some level, we’ll share the lows – and hopefully highs – of the athletes before we return to our everyday lives. But what’s it like to be the mother, father, sister or brother of an Olympian? It’s hard to imagine the emotions that they will go through by proxy as they watch the Games, and what they have gone through as their family member has stuck to gruelling training regimes over many years. The Irish Times Magazine caught up with the family members of several Olympians to learn more.
Aidan Lynch
Father of Carlow sailor Finn Lynch, who will sail in the ILCA7 class
It’s incredible to be the parent of an Olympian. I’m just so proud. Finn’s sailing ability showed at a very young age. I’d sailed so much with his older brothers, and then Finn started. He was incredibly determined. He’d been around when the others were learning and was obviously sitting there like a big sponge absorbing information. Finn was the first Irish person to win the British topper Championship, which was a huge deal. We knew he was good before then, but when he achieved that, people said ‘Wow, this guy’s got potential’.
I don’t want it to come across as hard work in any way but for years the three boys and myself went to training events and competitions every weekend. I would normally be in a RIB, rescuing kids from the water, or making sandwiches. Finn qualified for Rio in 2016. He was the youngest guy on the start line by a long way. Everyone always thought Tokyo was going to be his Olympics. When Finn didn’t qualify for Tokyo in 2020, it was very hard for him. To qualify for Paris has meant a huge amount to him, and to all of us.
These guys lead an extraordinary life in terms of the sacrifices that they make, being away from their friends and family. They are denied the normal things that young men in their 20s do. They choose it but it’s seven days a week between eating, sleeping, being incredibly disciplined.
He’s sailing against the best in the world. These guys are millimetres apart. To get into the top 10 for the medal race is the first hurdle. Then the numbers will tell you whether you’ve a chance of a medal.
I don’t think you ever get used to the stress. You just learn to deal with it. With 10 races, it’s a week of torture. Each race lasts about an hour. But I’ve often seen them go out early in the morning and sit all day on the water waiting for wind. And they might come back in, or they might get a race in at 4pm. You’re in the lap of the weather Gods. It’s a sport that requires a lot of resilience to sit there, to stay warm, to stay focused and to be ready to go at any moment.
I’ll be in Marseilles with my wife Nadine. Finn’s mum Grainne will be there too along with his brothers Ben and Rory, Rory’s wife Caroline and their baby. Eline, Finn’s girlfriend, will be with us. In Rio, there was a little green army gathered every day on the beach. I suspect something similar will happen in Marseilles.
We’ll go with the flow after the Olympics. If there’s a rush home because Finn’s done very well, then we’ll all rush home, or if there’s time to just chill out and reflect, we’ll do that too. There’s no big plan because we don’t like to count our chickens. We just want to support him.
Jonathan Wiffen
Father of world-record-holder Daniel Wiffen, who will swim in the 800m and 1500m freestyle and the 10km open-water event
I’m so excited for Paris. Daniel’s mum Rachel is not a list person but she’s started making one of everything we need to do. Every time I sit down at the computer, she’s ordered something else – like bunting for the house. Ireland’s expectation of Daniel is to get a gold medal. But this year, there are six guys in that race who are all capable of doing it. I expect the world record to go at least once. It’s been about 60 years since there have been that many people at this level at the same time. I think of the top 10 fastest times ever, seven of those people are in the race.
Daniel was a good junior swimmer but not an exceptional one. His swimming only really took off in the last three years. He went to European and world juniors. But he was just an also-ran. When Daniel qualified for Tokyo, that was a bit of a surprise to everybody. Because he has been before, he sort of knows what to expect. But he says that the noise from the crowd when you’re going for gold or a world record is immense.
As his parents, we are his emotional backbone. We’re here just to keep him grounded. We speak several times a day. It’s the whole family. We’re very close. So he’s got emotional support from us, and his brothers and sister. Beth isn’t a swimmer but his older brother Ben is head swimming coach in Enniskillen and his twin brother Nathan is a high-level swimmer too. He represented Ireland in the European Championships and came fourth.
Nathan has been Daniel’s training partner for 10 years and has always been there to support him. He did the Olympics trials too and just missed the time. Nathan has had a tough road swimming in Daniel’s shadow. They have a special bond because they are twins. They look after each other. They live in the same house.
I’d love Daniel to win a medal because he has worked so hard for it. It’s nothing to do with it being Ireland’s first swimming Olympic medal for men. I think he actually deserves it. Now, I realise that the parents of the eight people in the final will think their son deserves it too. But he’s put the effort in and made the sacrifices. I think the hardest part is if Daniel doesn’t swim as well as he can. It will be about dealing with the emotions around that. When he had the two fourths in the Fukuoka world championship last summer, that hit him really hard. But he moved on and grew from that.
We have rented two chalets in Paris for all of us. After a bit of a trial, we’ve got tickets for all his events. For swimming, you only get one free ticket. We’ll probably go and rewatch his events at the three Irish houses in Paris for Team Ireland. We’ll go there to watch the rest of the Irish team competing too.
We’ll stay for a day or two after the Olympics and then come home. This thing I’m most proud of is his attitude to his family and his brother. He supports Nathan a lot. He’s generous with his time too. He signed hats at a pool recently for the swimmers from Portadown and did half an hour Q&A on the poolside.
[ Daniel Wiffen: ‘I’m sure there’s definitely athletes in my events who are doping’Opens in new window ]
Sue McCarthy
Mother of Fintan McCarthy, who will row in the men’s lightweight doubles event with Paul O’Donovan
Fin and Paul are favourites and are defending their gold medal from the Toyko Olympics. That comes with pressure. What I have learned over the years is that you never know until the day, even if they’re tipped to be top. I think it was in the Tokyo Olympics that one of the top boats capsized in a heat. And they were a brilliant duo, so you can never tell. But training’s going well. They’ve got the ability and the strength.
It’s terrifying to be the parent of an Olympian. Every race is agony to watch but the sense of pride is huge. You’re the one watching them through all the ups and downs and so it’s always a bit bittersweet. You see all the hard work and determination and how they have to keep themselves up mentally, after bad days and setbacks. In fact, it’s funny because recently at the European Championships, Fin had a nasty bronchial infection. He had to watch [his twin] Jake rowing and he said, “I just don’t know how you do it”.
I’m most proud of the fact that Fin hasn’t allowed any doubt obscure his vision and goals – even though he’s had lots of highs and lows. To go from being a youngster who hated sport, to finding his thing, to saying I’m going to win the Olympics – and then doing it – never ceases to amaze me.
It is hard for Fin’s twin Jake. His girlfriend, Aoife Casey, is also competing. He got a back injury a few years ago and has been struggling to get back in the boat. He deserves a medal for perseverance. The mental strength of rowers is incredible and that’s helped Jake through it. He’s still smiling and back on the squad, which is an amazing feat. They’re still very young so hopefully there are other Olympics in store for him. However, this is the last time lightweight rowing is an Olympic category. So they have decisions to make after these Games.
They both started rowing quite late at about 15 but were pretty good quite quickly, and they were encouraged and told that they could really do something if they wanted to dedicate their time to it. But we’d go to regattas on the international circuit and for a long time they were sort of ranking third, fourth or fifth. I don’t think it can be underestimated how important it is to know that it’s possible to get to the Olympics. Having Gary and Paul [O’Donovan] at the club, having your lunch with these guys, made it possible. It’s a big thing.
All of us are going to Paris. My husband Tom, Fin’s sister Caitlin, and Jake. My sister Rachel is coming too. It will be really nice to actually go and watch this time. Last time we couldn’t because of Covid. It must have been so strange for the athletes. We’ll come home after the rowing and I think Fin will be home the day after us. We want to be home for the welcome home. After Tokyo, it was crazy. Our whole townland had been waiting for hours with banners, flags and bonfires. The road from Skibbereen town to our house was roadblocked with people Fin had grown up with. We stopped at every gathering.
Skibbereen Rowing Club is amazing. I think it’s about showing kids that if they want to do it, there’s a route to the top. And that they’ll be supported along the way.
Niamh Casey
Sister of Aoife Casey, who will row in the lightweight doubles with her partner Margaret Cremen
This is Aoife’s second Olympics so we’re a little bit calmer. But we are just so delighted for her and proud. It’s such a great achievement. She’s been rowing since she was about 10. She’s trained really hard for it. She and her partner Mags really deserve this chance in the Olympics.
Our dad Dominic, who is her coach, brought us rowing at a very young age and we also did a national school’s rowing programme that Skibbereen Rowing Club ran in fourth, fifth and sixth class. Dad and Mam both rowed. Dad is an eight-time Irish champion. Mam was four-time Irish champion. And Mam has done triathlons and marathons. We have always done sport.
I rowed too from aged nine until 24. I rowed in the same boat as Niamh as a junior. We won four Irish National Championship titles together. I took a step back when Covid hit. I signed up to do my master’s and prioritise my career. It’s not a sport you can do halfheartedly. You either train twice a day or you don’t row at all. We’re an all-in family and rowing is like that anyway.
In a way, Aoife’s lucky as we all know rowing so well and can talk about it at the kitchen table, but we can also just talk about normal things. Full-time athletes have such a hard lifestyle and she’s very lucky that Dad is her coach because he’s such a supportive person and he really motivates Aoife and all the team.
Rowers make huge sacrifices but I think Skibbereen Rowing Club especially supports the athletes. Aoife is always saying that she wants to give back to the club, and, for her, performing is giving back to the club for all the years that they supported her. At Skibbereen Rowing Club, Aoife saw the likes of Gary and Paul [O’Donovan] going to the Olympics and succeeding. That was really motivating for her. At training you could have been racing against an Olympian and that really motivates the younger athletes. And we always said success breeds success. It feels so normal in Skibbereen. Everyone wants to get to the top.
I’m cycling to Paris for the Olympics with 20 rowers or former rowers and friends of the rowing club. It’s very exciting. We leave on July 21st. My mam Eleanor and my auntie Catherina are doing the Irish leg. It’s about 680km and will take five days. It will be great. We’re staying in Paris together – my mam and dad, sister Caoimhe, brother Dominic and aunties. We’ll watch all of the rowing and do some sightseeing.
I don’t really want to say how I think Aoife and Mags will do. I obviously want them to perform their best. With lightweight rowing, the racing is really close. It’s always like a millisecond between first, second and third. You could actually say the top eight Olympic crews could medal. So I just hope they make the A final and that they are happy. You’d be a bag of nerves watching them race. It’s very stressful.
