TV View: The BBC's Epsom Derby coverage began with the sound of a lawnmower that hadn't tasted oil in a while starting up. Except it wasn't a lawnmower. It was Willie Carson cackling.

"The greatest race in the world," he declared before his gurning was interrupted by the sight of Clare Balding on a rollercoaster. This was supposed to illustrate the stomach- churning undulations of the racetrack.

"Aaaah," shouted Clare. "Oooh . . . Aaargh . . . Ooooh my God!"

With over three hours to go before the race, it made one wonder if the coverage had climaxed a bit too quickly. And if that sounds a little pervy, then you weren't watching.

Maybe it's because she spends her working life next to an annoying Scot standing on a box, but there is something very hale and hearty about Balding. Very fresh air and country tweedy, an impression not helped by the fact she has shoulders that in Cork would be described as belonging to a bowl player.

As Carson pointed to a horse prancing sweatily in the parade ring, he tried to describe delicately where the jam was most prolific. Clare had no such inhibitions.

"Yes, in between the legs - never a great place to be sweating!"

The skit from the appropriately named Smack The Pony sketch show hurdled into mind, in which an extremely solid country type stared at a mirror and bellowed: "Now that's what I call f***ing feminine!"

It wasn't just Clare. If the opposition Channel 4 racing team sometimes give the impression they've struggled to the camera after a swift sprint from the nearest bookies shop, then there is definitely a pony-club vibe from the Beeb.

One of the Derby runners, American Post, had twigged that if he hesitated to load into the stalls he would get a carrot to tempt him. This being a £1.25-million race, the trainer hired a man to go to the start avec carrots. So Lydia Hislop stalked said man to said start.

"Not to put too fine a point on it," chortled Lydia. "Can I see your carrot?"

The start also played a part in Clare's Derby experience as she informed us that she once visited there as a child.

"If some people think racing can be stuffy and a bit posh, well, Epsom is not like that," quoth Clare. "I remember some years ago being down at the start in jeans and a T-shirt."

Coming in that school-prefect voice, she made it sound a daring fashion statement to rank with the mini or David Beckham's sarong. But the Beeb were intent on making the day as populist as possible. Reporters roamed through the 120,000-strong crowd and predictably ended up with a lot of plastered punters baying for "Frankuye" to win. Everyone so wanted Dettori to win that it was no wonder his mount, Snow Ridge, struggled home as if hamstrung by the prayers of copy writers.

Instead, it was the more reticent Kieren Fallon who won out on North Light, leaving Frankie to face, with commendable style, the cameras and another round of "How does it feel to lose?" questions.

Later, RTÉ unleashed the A-team of Bill, John and Eamon on the Ireland-Holland game. Eamon was clearly in the sort of form that suggested he had tucked into a sizeable chunk of the 7 to 2 about North Light.

Bill's dismissal of the recent Unity Cup as being just about money provoked "Gekko" Dunphy into smugly declaring: "This is all about money, Bill . . . sinful stuff."

Eamon had clearly done very well and his sparse praise of the Irish centre half Andy O'Brien ended up with "he wouldn't be Grade A Platinum class."

As it turned out, the Amsterdam Arena was just fine for Mr O'Brien, who along with the rest of the Irish team had far too much chutzpah for a team of locals with the drive of a bunch of Derby also-rans.

Robbie Keane's goal sent the Irish fans into raptures and the panel into furious concern as to how Keane's future might unfold.

"His career is in the balance," pronounced Eamon. "He needs to be in a top club with top players around him."

"A good coach would teach him not to try the difficult thing all the time," Gilesy tried to explain. "What's important is picking the right time. All the great players did it."

The debate will continue as to where Keane stands on the "greatness" board, but on the day that was in it, Eamon appeared to be licking his lips at the thought of hitting those bookies.

"The real story from a European championships point of view is that Holland won't win it."

Something, no doubt, to tell his mates down at the pony club.