TV View: Michael Lyster bumped in to some Derry supporters in the toilets in Clones yesterday and heard them discussing where it had all gone wrong. "And that was while the game was still on," he said

Worse, Joe Brolly revealed, "they were saying nice things to me - I preferred it when they hated me," he said, pining for the days when Derry supporters were impassioned enough to shove his head up the nozzle of the hand-dryer in the Clones loos, in protest against his unforgiving post-match analysis.

Like Lyster, then, Brolly had spent a bit of the second half of the game in the gentlemen's restroom in Clones, but you got the feeling he wished he'd been in there for the entire duration of the match, plucking his eyebrows and powdering his nose, or whatever boys do in restrooms.

"Lacklustre, rudderless," he sighed at half-time, describing his fellow countymen's display. By full-time his professorial spectacles had nigh on steamed up with disenchantment.

His RTÉ colleagues didn't exactly help lift the gloom with their verdicts. "Simply inept," concluded Ger Canning. "Patternless, passionless," said Colm O'Rourke, "the worst thing about the game was there wasn't even a chance of a row."

While querying the Derry forward line's marksmanship, O'Rourke, noting the half-time stats (two Derry points from 11 efforts), suggested they were "making it look like a huge thing to kick a point", which observation had Brolly's head nodding so fiercely it almost fell off his shoulders.

Full-time. "But they're not gone out of the Championship," said Lyster of Derry, holding the back door ajar. "They ARE gone out of the Championship, Derry are going nowhere," O'Rourke replied, a response so firm you had to assume the man's born-in-Leitrim-but-reared-in-Meath buttocks have never once brushed against a fence.

But, with that, Derry manager Mickey Moran's speech was written for his team's next encounter: "Twelve months ago, boys," O'Rourke said: 'I have a very expensive hat and I will eat it if Tyrone win an All-Ireland and Brian Dooher is on the team' - Tyrone and Dooher are All-Ireland champions, so Sam's coming home, boys, Sam's coming home".

It was, in all, a day of disappointing sporting encounters. ITV's James Allen, though, did his best to put a gloss on events in Barcelona. "Not a thrilling Grand Prix, but ...," he said, his voice trailing away, resting in a land called Silence.

Jim Rosenthal, though, battled on, gamely. With not a trace of a smile he congratulated Mark Blundell on correctly predicting Michael Schumacher would win the Spanish Grand Prix. Blundell smiled an embarrassed smile, one that said: "Ah janie, Jim". Next thing Jim will be applauding Mark for predicting a horse will win the Kentucky Derby. And that Leitrim won't win an All-Ireland hurling title this year.

Over to BBC2's Sport+, where Craig Doyle was discussing with Steve Redgrave and Steve Bunce the chances of Greece hosting the 2004 Olympic Games before the winter of 2012. "I heard a member of the Irish Olympic committee say last week the stadium in Athens resembles Lansdowne Road," said Doyle, a revelation that had the two Steves exchanging aghast glances. Like them, we knew the problems were serious, but cripes, not THAT serious.

Before then we were reminded of recent rocky Olympic history. We were shown a snatch of film featuring Jimmy Carter's announcement that America would be boycotting the Moscow Olympics. "The United States does not wish to be represented in a host country that is invading and subjugating another nation," he said, solemnly. Indeed. Oh yes, indeed.

More pressing matters were under discussion on Sky Sport's Soccer Saturday. Presenter Jeff Stelling, a Hartlepool die-hard, tried to explain to Frank McLintock the permutations of the battle for second division promotion play-off places.

The gist of it was: Swindon and Hartlepool needed a point to make the play-offs. As fate would have it they were playing each other on Saturday, so a draw would do the job. But - and it was a big but - if one of them lost and Port Vale beat Rushden and Diamonds then Port Vale would make the play-offs and the loser of Swindon v Hartlepool wouldn't. Got that?

Seven minutes after kick-off a crestfallen Stelling announced that Sammy Igoe had scored for Swindon. Which, by our rusty calculations, meant Hartlepool were a goal down.

"Eh", said Frank, "is that good for Hartlepool?" Stelling buried his face in his hands, while McLintock dusted down his abacus and tried again.