TV View:Clare Balding could only conclude that Authorized was a whole lot easier to handle than his jockey, as a splendidly jolly day at Epsom climaxed with Frankie Dettori celebrating the end of his seemingly eternal wait for Derby success by declaring: "Get the ****in' bubbly open!"

There was a loud collective gulp from the BBC team. Gordon Richards, we were told, most certainly did not celebrate the breaking of his Derby jinx - he had to gallop his way through 28 of them before finally winning the damn thing - with such industrial language, language more commonly found in, say, the Irish rugby dressingroom.

There was, it seems, even concern that Frankie's ****ing would see him relinquish his title of housewives' favourite, so aghast would they be, but, to be honest, most housewives we know would out **** the best of them.

Anyway, we doubt somehow the BBC cameras followed Gordon Richards into the inner sanctum that is the jockeys' room, so, in that sense, they were asking for it. Frankie's first action was to smother Mick Kinane in hugs and slobbery kisses, an onslaught of affection, we detected, Mick didn't entirely welcome. But Clare explained that Mick, in fact, shared in Frankie's joy because he helped "produce" Authorized, an allegation that seemed to us utterly defamatory.

In many ways, the BBC's build-up to the Derby mirrored RTÉ's scene-setting for the clash of Waterford and Kerry yesterday, leading us to believe that, before Saturday, Frankie was to the Derby what Waterford are to Gaelic football, ie, no success, but it hasn't been for the want of trying.

Much was made of the fact that it's the 50th anniversary of Waterford's famous win over Kerry, who were then, as now, defending All-Ireland champions.

Joe Brolly, though, expressed reservations about the theory that defeat might be on the minds of Gooch Cooper, Mike Frank Russell and Kieran Donaghy yesterday, because "none of these boys would have been alive - it's meaningless". That banjaxed that mood-setter, then.

As it proved Waterford were unable to do a Frankie, instead being subjected to "the annihilation we didn't want to see", as Colm O'Rourke put it.

"I suppose there should be some law against this sort of thing," he sighed.

Kerry were 2-9 to 0-1 up at half-time, leading Michael Lyster to suggest, "If this was a boxing match there'd be a very large white towel flying across Fraher Field."

He did, though, wonder if having the wind at their backs in the second half would help Waterford at all, at all.

"They'd want a hurricane to whip up," said Colm, so we took that as a no.

By full-time the RTÉ boys, like Waterford, were just relieved it was over.

"It's a bit like when you were brought on a Sunday afternoon to do the stations of the Cross in the sodality in the church - it was something you had to get through, you couldn't enjoy it, it was just endurance," said Colm, and with that we switched our attention to Croke Park.

There are those, namely the inhabitants of 31 of this island's counties, who are in a state of permanent exasperation over the impression oft given that the championship doesn't really start until Dublin takes its bow. We are, we have to admit, on their side.

It was good, though, to see the championship get started yesterday when Dublin left their dressingroom at Croke Park, a sight that had the whole country (apart from 31 of its counties), all a-tingle.

The panel discussed the two teams' differing strategies, Joe suggesting Dublin's tactics were so intricate neither the manager nor the players actually understood them.

"You could write the Meath tactics on the back of a postage stamp - just kick it up there," said Colm, "some people would say it's bogman football."

"But you are bogmen," said Joe.

"That's true," conceded Colm.

Graham Geraghty seemed intent on not repairing his damaged relationship with those who wonder why a fella with that much talent insists on leaving his brains in the dressingroom.

"He'd obviously have been well able for the hurly-burly of Dáil Éireann, if he'd been elected," said Joe, as the panel perused replays of those moments when our Graham inserted his fist into opponents' faces, for no apparent reason other than they were opponents.