Cashley denies Ronaldo a clean sweep

IT WAS John O'Shea who ruefully conceded two years ago that Manchester United had been usurped, no longer the holders of a much…

IT WAS John O'Shea who ruefully conceded two years ago that Manchester United had been usurped, no longer the holders of a much cherished title they had possessed, unchallenged, since long before the Waterford man made Old Trafford his home.

"It's fair to say Chelsea have taken our place as the most hated team in England," he sighed. "When they had their little blip people were jumping on it and seemed pleased they were having a few problems. That's the way it was with us for a long time and we want to get back to that."

Two years on, having won back the Premier League title from Chelsea, then retained it, O'Shea would like to believe United can indeed lay claim once again to the crown of "England's Most Loathed Club", but some scientific research (ie a quick look at a few supporters' websites and a rushed text message survey) would suggest there's still some work to be done on that front.

There is a lot of loathing, it just seems to be quite evenly spread. Wednesday night in Moscow, then, will pose an impossible dilemma for many who are not of the Chelsea or United faith.

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The more even-handed, prejudice-free responders to our survey (thanks again to Irene) were generally opting for United, on the basis Chelsea's brand of football is the most effective cure for insomnia. But even Irene was grappling with a dilemma that was deeply troubling her: who did she least want to see raise the Champions League trophy - Ashley Cole or Cristiano Ronaldo?

Yes, our research has shown Cashley (as he was renamed by Arsenal fans after he departed for Chelsea) and Cristiano are permanently vying with each other for top spot in the "Premier League Player I Dislike The Most" stakes.

Alas, we are unable to repeat much of what has been written and said about Cashley and Cristiano, most of it referring to the players' rather colourful and energetic off-the-field activities.

"He's a fantastic player, but

. . . ," tended to be the gist of the opening line of every discussion about young Cristiano, which then strayed into the areas of diving, cheating, narcissism, arrogance, selfishness, and such like.

But, on balance, our research showed Cashley was marginally less loved, as, perhaps, proved by him denying Cristiano a clean sweep of the awards this season when he clinched the prestigious Who Ate The Pies' Most Unpopular Person of the 2007-2008 Season.

It all started to go wrong for Cashley when this passage appeared in his autobiography: "When I heard Jonathan (Cole's agent) repeat the figure of £55k, I nearly swerved off the road. 'He is taking the p***s, Jonathan!' I yelled down the phone.

"I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn't believe what I'd heard. I suppose it all started to fall apart for me from then on."

This, of course, was a reference to Arsenal only offering him a new contract worth £55,000 (€68,702)-a-week, a derisory offer he felt was lacking in "respect". "I'm not asking for sympathy," he wrote. "Just as well," replied 110 per cent of English football supporters.

"My heart and soul was tied to Arsenal with a fisherman's knot, I don't think even Houdini could have unravelled it," he had said, before Roman Abramovich managed to unravel that knot by waving a blank cheque in Cashley's direction. And with that Cashley was a Chelsea player, his every subsequent touch of the ball greeted with eardrum-splitting boos, a soundtrack that quite often accompanies Cristiano too when he's on the pitch.

Wednesday, then, will largely be a contest between ABUAR (Anyone But United and Ronaldo) and ABCAC (Anyone But Chelsea and Cashley), although the NOT faction (Neither Of Them) would appear to have significant numbers too.

Let battle commence.

Survey The neutral view

Question: "Who will you be shouting for on Wednesday?"

Arsenal fan: "Neither. I hope it goes to penalties and they miss them all, then Uefa call it off and announce neither of them has won the trophy."

Question: "United or Chelsea?"

Spurs fan: "Neither. I'm going to go for a long walk and pretend it's not happening."

Question: "Chelsea or United?"

Aston Villa fan: "How do you choose between two evils? You can't. I'll just watch the film."

Some, though, were actually quite firm in their views, which left us wondering if Chelsea had relinquished this crown too.

Question: "What percentage of Liverpool supporters want United to lose on Wednesday?"

Liverpool fan: "110 per cent."

Question: "Who do you most want to lose in Moscow?"

Manchester City fan: "Do you really need to ask?"

Question: "Will you be decked in red on Wednesday?"

Leeds fan: "Ha, ha - good one!"

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times