Covert cloning

We are indebted to Peter Byrne, who drew our attention to the secret cloning process which the IRFU has undertaken to complement…

We are indebted to Peter Byrne, who drew our attention to the secret cloning process which the IRFU has undertaken to complement other measures such as the academy for elite young players and the aggressive drive to repatriate players from England that has proved so successful. However the union's latest venture could yet be its most successful coup.

As exclusively revealed on the websites listed below, the IRFU has managed to clone their most priceless asset, Brian O'Driscoll. His name, according to these websites, is Robert O'Driscoll. Now obviously they couldn't play both in an international because that would have let the sheep out of the pen so to speak, but given that the players are identical in every way, they can alternate between the two, thereby cutting down on the wear and tear. It has been the IRFU's policy to reduce the number of games that a player plays in a season and in cloning they have managed the perfect solution; it's so much better than instructing the national team not to take part in club matches. Blackrock are hoping that Robert will be available when the All Ireland League resumes.

The websites in question are:

1. CNN Sports Illustrated

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http://sportsillustrated.c nn.com/rugby/news/2001/02/17/ireland-france-ap/

2. BBC Sport

http:// news.bbc.co.uk/sport/hi/english/in-depth/2001/six-nations/picture-gal