Right, one third of the 2001 Golf Masters is now complete, nine weeks and 16 tournaments of what-might-have-beens, interminable missed cuts, nagging back, neck, wrist and ankle problems that forced withdrawals a minute before tee-off time and cries of "what was I ever thinking of when I brought that fella into my team?"

And agonising transfer decisions - e.g. "I know as soon as I fire Stephen Leaney, Nick O'Hern and Paul Broadhurst they'll finally turn up for duty and win all around them . . . but I also know if I don't fire them I won't see sight nor sound of them all year - so what's a Golf Masters' manager to do?'.

So, you're enjoying it so far?

Templeogue's very own Valerie Needham would very probably have replied "NO" if we'd asked her that question before week nine. After all, even her nephew Lee was beating her in the family's own competition.

We mean no offence to Lee, of course, but 11-week-old babies tend not to be au fait with happenings in the world of professional golf, too wrapped are they in less important matters like sleeping and drinking milk and drinking milk and sleeping. And gurgling.

So considering Lee was only a fortnight old when he selected the Golf Masters' team that was beating Valerie's "Secret Seven" before week nine probably said a whole lot more about his auntie's managerial skills than his own.

The humiliation. The shame. The . . . hang on, it gets worse. "Mum (Diana) was beating me too. And Dad (Rodney). And David Wilgar (Valerie's beloved)." Valerie's exact position in her family's private leaderboard? "Paddy last. I'd only won £187,000, so I was getting walloped."

But? Along came the Portuguese Open and the Greensboro Classic and the rest, as they say, is a mystery. The mystery being that "Secret Seven", aided by a transfer or five, suddenly learnt how to win Lee's auntie's team some money. How much? To be exact, £303,700. Scott Hoch? Greensboro Classic winner. Sven Struver? Joint second in Portugal. Ignacio Garrido? Joint fourth in Portugal. Jerry Kelly? Joint fourth at the Greensboro Classic. End result? Valerie, in her first year as a Golf Masters' manager, is now contemplating bringing David, Diana and Rodney to Powerscourt, Co Wicklow for a fourball and a meal for four, but if Lee's mother Jill can encourage him to work on his short game he may yet be in with a shout of making it on to the team.

Incidentally - Scott Hoch's Greensboro Classic triumph came as a bit of a surprise to his 359 managers because it was his first tour victory since 1997. It was an even bigger surprise to the three managers who fired him last week . . . commiserations Barry, Dee and Ben.

Hats off to Kevin Farrell who retained his overall lead this week, and would very much like to make it a three-in-a-row after the French Open and the New Orleans Classic, week 10's Golf Masters' tournaments.