What have American pop combo The Smashing Pumpkins got in common with the Golf Masters? Well, absolutely nothing, really, except that if you take a look at our weekly leaderboard you'll spot a website address as a team name (www.gish.cjb.net) in 20th place, and if you look it up on the internet you'll find a very stylish tribute to said band. Take a bow, young Brian Darcy of Rathmichael, Co Dublin, who, not all that long ago, we pitilessly slagged for transferring Jose Maria Olazabal out of his team, just before the Spaniard won the US Masters.

Maybe it's our age, but Brian only seemed like a young fella then (well, anyone who's still in school is a baby to us) and here he is designing fancy websites when we thought he'd still be playing with Lego.

Anyway, while admiring Brian's website we spotted the name of a Smashing Pumpkins tune, Frail and Bedazzled, and an album that went by the title of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, both of which we reckon sum up the feelings of roughly 96.98 per cent of our Golf Masters' managers as we approach the half-way point in the competition. Now, the difference between these unfortunate also-rans and the remaining 3.02 per cent is that they wasted a big chunk of their budgets on "bargain buys" who've won barely enough to feed your average super model.

How different life would have been if they'd spent, say, £2 million on Roger Chapman, Niclas Fasth, Mark Brooks and Markus Brier (who top our Best Value for Money list - based on pence won per pound spent on the player - and, between them, appear in 10 of our top 10 teams), leaving them enough to invest in Tiger Woods, Colin Montgomerie or Hal Sutton.

True enough, all these "if onlys" would leave any Golf Masters boss frail, bedazzled, melancholic and infinitely sad.