Jason McAteer

After that goal against Holland Jason McAteer is, of course, a national hero. But, if ever RT╔ decide to dedicate a This Is Your Life type programme to him we reckon they should forget about inviting three of his team-mates to pay tribute to him. In the course of the qualifying campaign this is what they've said: Stephen Carr: "We call him Trigger like the bloke out of Only Fools and Horses.

Sometimes I think he's winding me up, it's scary how slow he can be." Ian Harte: "The other week he gave a Ralph Lauren polo shirt to his mum to wash and those shirts are longer at the back than at the front. His mum didn't spot this until after she'd washed it, thought she'd shrunk the front, so cut the back to make both sides equal. He says that's where he gets his stupidity from." Matt Holland: "Those in the party whose reading material consists mainly of pictures have been warned against taking them (to Iran). Good news for the moral brigade, but bad news for us - it means someone is going to have to talk to Jason McAteer to keep him occupied." (PS: Earlier this week Football 365 recalled their favourite Jason gem - "When asked if he wanted his pizza cut into eight slices, McAteer replied: "No, I'm not that hungry, just do it into four.")