"After intensive, cool, calm reflection, I am morally certain that allowing Belgium to go through to the World Cup Finals, while the population of Ireland sits at home with nothing to do for the summer, would be a miscarriage of justice. "Having considered the matter carefully, I am firmly convinced that the interests of justice mandate my changing the result to 2-1 for Ireland. I do this in accordance with my discretion and my duty." Signed . . . Hiller B Zobel, Associate Justice, Superior Court of Righting Sporting Wrongs.

As dreams go, it was up there with the one where Ireland beat the All Blacks 63-15. At least it made waking up on Sunday morning a little less painful. How's that song go again? "Well I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt . . ." Granted, Kris Kristofferson was singing about having one too many jars the night before, and not defeat in a World Cup Finals' play-off, but the words fit all the same. Having read Zobel's judgement in our dreams, George Hamilton's real-life nightmarish words, at the end of the 90 gut-wrenching minutes in Brussels, came back to haunt us . . . "For Ireland, it's adieu a France." God, the horrible finality of it all.

But, in terms of keeping Irish spirits up all Saturday night, George and his co-commentator Jim Beglin had played a blinder. After Belgium's first goal? "Well, Luis Oliveira may have broken Irish hearts, but let us not forget that if there were to be an equaliser, it would be a priceless away goal and the tie would be all square," said George. "Yeah, Mick would have said to his players before the game if you DO concede a goal, it's not the end of the world," said Jim. "Well, we were always going to need the away goal because 0-0 was no good," said George. "Absolutely," said Jim. "So it doesn't really matter that it's 1-0," said George. "No," said Jim. Suddenly George and Jim made it seem a good thing that Belgium had scored.

Then Ray `I save my goals for the big occasion' Houghton equalised. God knows what George said then - you know how it is. Howling and screaming and leaping and howling and hugging and screaming and howling. "Who put the ball in the Beljam's net, Ray did, Ray did". "Yiz'll never beat the Oirish." And then some more howling and screaming and leaping and howling, before squeezing the Carlsberg out of your jumper, picking the Scampi Fries out of your hair and settling down for the remainder of the match.

After Belgium's second goal? "What can you say other than to look on the bright side - if Ireland are to equalise a second time, they'll be in the lead. Twenty minutes to go, anything can happen," said the irrepressible George.

At full time? "Don't worry, it's not over yet - there could be a military coup, a revolution, a civil war, an earthquake, anything at all in one of the countries that has qualified for the Finals, so we could take their place and get to France after all," we wanted George to say. But he didn't. Instead, "For Ireland, it's adieu a France."

"Dejected, but proud as punch of a wonderful Irish performance," said Bill O'Herlihy back in the studio. Johnny Giles praised the team's efforts, but then proceeded to quibble with Bill over whether or not Andy Townsend had intentionally picked out Houghton with his cross for the equaliser, even going so far as to ask for a hold-it-there examination of the move. Argh. Did anyone really care if Andy "looked up" before crossing? Nope. Ireland were out of the World Cup, that's all that really mattered on Saturday night.

Even knowing that Saturday was going to be a long sporting day for Ireland didn't quite prepare us for a combined rugby and soccer defeat of 65-16 by the All Blacks and Belgium. Former New Zealand international Grant Fox tried to warn RTE's Ryle Nugent of the rugby thrashing ahead when he spoke to him before the match at Lansdowne Road.

"The danger for the Irish is trying to contain the All Blacks out wide, there is some real firepower in Wilson and Cullen . . . and Osborne and Bunce . . . and Mehrtens and Marshall," he said, putting the fear of God in us all. Ryle leaped in before Grant had a chance to mention the dangers of Ieremia, Dowd, Hewitt, Brown, Jones, Randell, Blowers and not one, but two, Brookes.

Then Ryle had a quick chat with John Hart, the New Zealand coach, at the end of which he said, "thank you very much for joining us and best of luck". Best of luck? Hart, at least, had the grace not to chuckle. Meanwhile, over on the BBC, Bill McLaren was enjoying the prematch entertainment. "The band, of course, is the Garda Sheeo-Kana who have the niftiest foot movements I've ever seen from a corps of policemen," he said.

Then the match ball was delivered by skydivers from the Irish army parachute team who, in truth, held on to it longer than the Irish rugby team did all afternoon. Then it was time for the Haka. All those rumours last week that suggested the Irish team would respond to the Haka by performing Riverdance on the half-way line (with Keith Wood and Nick Popplewell, respectively, filling the roles of Michael Flatley and Jean Butler), sadly, proved groundless. Instead, they just stood and watched and trembled.

To his credit, Wood added a Riverdance flavour to the proceedings by jigging and reeling his way across the try-line twice in the opening 27 minutes. But that only made the All Blacks angry and . . . well, check the scoreline. A long painful day for Irish sport indeed.