Last season, we're sure you'll remember, we shared much inside transfer gossipy information with you, revealing exclusively in a triumphant "you heard it here second" kind of way that (1) Alan Mahon would join Celtic, (2) Mark Kinsella was Newcastle bound, (3) Robbie Keane was a Gunner-elect, (4) Alan Quinn was all set for Spurs and (5) Joe Murphy would be filling the gap between the sticks at Anfield. As Meat Loaf once (almost) sang, "nought out of five ain't bad", so here we go again.

Wimbledon are still intent on signing Everton's Richard Dunne (once he serves his five-match ban), Ipswich goalkeeper Richard Wright will make Highbury his home soon, Steve McManaman will be a Manchester United player before you can say "who makes this stuff up?" and Zinedine Zidane will join Barcelona for a modest £55 million.

Meanwhile, Inter Milan want to buy Paul Ince, again. Don't look at us, we read it in the 'papers.