"David is actually a really intelligent person. He's really deep."

- Victoria Adams (aka Posh Spice) quashes vicious rumours that David Beckham's IQ is slightly smaller than that of two short planks.

"It would have been far easier for me to make my presence felt (last season) in a group of players that performed well."

- David Ginola, in an interview with a French newspaper last week, manages to alienate every one of his Spurs' team-mates before the season even began.

"I'm no longer part of Arsenal and it (the Charity Shield) doesn't interest me. To hell with the English people."

- Nicolas Anelka bids a less than fond adieu to England.

"I believe Walt Disney is trying to buy the film rights to this book as a sequel to Fantasia."

- Blackburn manager Brian Kidd on Alex Ferguson's latest autobiography, in which Kidd gets dog's abuse.