A 34-20 bonus-point win in Rome, still on track for a Grand Slam and the gist of the reaction was: “Meh.” With a hint of fretting thrown in.
Jerry Flannery was having none of it. “We’re getting greedy,” he said, “Italy are bloody good,” suggesting the fretters cool their boots, that Ireland, without 46.67 per cent of the team that beat France, in a game for the ages, had done grand.
It was a welcome voice of reason, and no little calm, at a time when there might have been those calling for an emergency sitting of the Dáil to debate how Italy got within four points of our boys when Paolo Garbisi converted that second-half penalty.
All that talk last year about South Africa replacing the hopeless Italians in the Six Nations? As Matt Williams put it, over on Virgin Media, “we wanted Italy to get better – but not that much better.”
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Jerry, in fairness to him, had been issuing cool-yer-boots warnings even before the game, keeping his whist for a bit while Jacqui Hurley, Stephen Ferris and Jamie Heaslip talked Grand Slams and the like, before interjecting. “We might be getting ahead of ourselves,” he suggested.
Jamie agreed, and then talked about the importance of having depth in your squad. “Fast forward to the World Cup, seven games on the bounce, not everyone’s going to play all seven games if we get to the final.”
While he at least opted for ‘if’ rather than ‘when’, Jerry still chewed his cheek (not Jamie’s, his own), uneasy with this level of haughtiness.
Not half as uneasy, mind, as the Irish team as they attempted to sing along to that Italian band’s playing of Ireland’s Call, so doleful and ponderous a rendition of the unloved tune that the lads had reached “hearts of steel and heads are bowing” before the band even got to “come the day and come the hour”. Like you were playing a 45 at 33 (ask your granny).
Donal Lenihan sensed dirty tricks. “I’ve noticed this, I’ve seen it at Murrayfield before where it’s just a slow version and it kills the thing, but any way. Let’s park it there.”
Which is precisely what the Irish team did, unruffled by the ordeal, scoring a try with not even 90 seconds on the clock. Granted, it was disallowed, but still.
It took them a while to recover from that disappointment, not scoring an allowed try until 41 seconds later, James Ryan doing his thing. The next try, though, belonged in the Louvre, as they say, Hugo Keenan and his twinkle toes finishing off a highly lovely move.
“He dodges two players, does a pirouette, has time to take a selfie, and then he’s under the sticks,” as only Jamie could have described it come the break.
Mack Hansen’s contribution to the move? “Lovely quick nuanced hands, it can’t go understated,” he added. Nuanced hands? It’s 2023 and rugby punditry still speaks a language with which most of us remain unfamiliar.
Any way, it was a breathless blinder of a game, Donal displaying admirable impartiality when Hansen sealed the win with his second try. “MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!”
Hansen was the man of the match, which earned him a chat with Clare MacNamara, Clare having to apologise profusely for his “OH ****!” reaction to accidentally thumping his microphone with his nuanced hands. Frankly, Mack can curse to his heart’s content if he carries on scoring tries that see off pesky challengers.
Back with the RTÉ panel and Jerry was telling us to chill out, to enjoy the victory and not be getting ahead of ourselves, while acknowledging that Ireland had to learn from the iffy aspects of the performance ahead of meeting Scotland.
Jamie agreed. “No harm having a bit of cold water poured on them,” he said, setting aside his earlier talk about seven games in France later this year.
As the tune goes, ‘one game at a time, sweet Jesus’.
