Eddie Jones: 'I’m not that smart. I’m an Australian, I’m a convict mate’

No regrets, mate.

Before this old rivalry began again, two aged English scribes were nattering away in the writer’s room (no pints but, it being Twickenham, they sipped glasses of red wine).

“Johnny [Sexton’s] okay isn’t he?”

“’til his first clattering.”

“Jones targeted Jonny [Wilkinson] in the 2003 [World Cup] final, didn’t he?”

“Didn’t matter in the end, did it?”

All that mattered was the result that, along with so many other experiences since, have moulded the mischievous England coach into the man we now find before us.

If involving parents in the conversation around Test match rugby has become acceptable, how about the Japanese prisoner of war lady who on release became an interpreter in occupied 1940s Tokyo where she met the Australian soldier who assisted her in the creation of little Eddie Jones?

If parents are on the menu then that's a suitable introduction to reviewing England's 21-10 overpowering of Ireland on Saturday evening, right?

“Cold, mate, cold,” smiled the eternal larrikin when describing his first day as England’s first foreign head coach in their revered rugby homestead. “The national anthem I like. Swing Low, I am not into that yet. I will gradually learn to love it.”

The chorus laughs, they always do.

From these foundations it’s hoped England will bring the William Webb Ellis trophy back from Japan when the Jones’s return to their ancestral home in 2019.

On Saturday night Jones, who like his father, also took a Japanese wife, finally lost patience with the visiting Irish media, as he had done with our English counterparts last Thursday, when questions spilled into ridiculous realms following his cheapest form of gamesmanship when wondering aloud how worried Johnny Sexton’s parents must be about his whiplash.

“I don’t regret anything mate. I don’t regret anything,” Jones repeated when offered a chance to row back.

Why regret a successful week? Why change now?

English players ranging in size from the gargantuan Billy Vunipola's full frontal charge to the rapid Ben Youngs hit just as Sexton released a pass all sought to ring his neck in a typically combative 76 minutes before Ireland's outhalf made way for Ian Madigan – but only when the game was gone.

“Why would I regret it?”

Sexton’s family have nothing to do with rugby, perhaps?

“So what? Look, Ireland said Johnny had whiplash injuries, not me. Let’s get factual about this. It was quoted by them.”

Jones means Schmidt's remark in the immediate aftermath of the 10-9 defeat in Paris on February 13th. Taking the 56 year old on his word, and that he truly did make the whiplash statement out of concern and not as bait to remove the media glare from his own young outhalves, George Ford and Owen Farrell, who twice rag-dolled Sexton into the turf, then Schmidt's remark does perhaps need clarification.

“He was beautiful today mate, beautiful,” Jones said of Ford’s performance. “Poetry in motion. If Bob Dwyer was here, he’d be that happy. He was flat, at the line, committing defenders. He was wonderful.”

Sexton understandably looked shaky after his gruesome collision with the magnificent Vunipola, and he fumbled the ball moments after the Youngs hit, prompting his 2013 Lions team-mate, English prop Alex Corbisero who is currently taking time away from the game to recover from a succession of injuries, to express concern via social media.

Anyway, Jones almost took credit for Sexton’s preference to run, rather than kick, the ball.

“We were pleasantly surprised.”

When asked if that’s why he made all those comments, to tempt Ireland into going wider, he got all sad faced again.

“If I say something now you just criticise it so why would I bother saying anything? Why is making a comment to the media (a part of) gamesmanship? If I talk to the media I’m giving you commentary to give you stories. Now it’s gamesmanship. I can be like any other coach and say yes and no and not say anything.

“I’ll just do that from now on.”

Don’t worry he won’t.

We went on: Didn’t you recently say that you like to influence the game in advance via the media? “Of course you do. What’s wrong with that? Why are you being critical of that?”

So that’s what you were up to with Sexton’s parents?

“I don’t know, mate. I’m not that smart. I’m an Australian, I’m a convict, mate.”