Keith Earls admits he has been overwhelmed by the reaction from teammates, opponents and the public at large to the candid revelations in his biography regarding his mental health battle which led to him being diagnosed as bipolar.
The wonder is that he’s been able to focus on rugby at all but although innately reserved and slightly uncomfortable in the public glare, he admits the attention hasn’t been too bad.
“I was overwhelmed by a lot of the messages that I got, but it nearly relaxed me and kind of motivated me as well. It’s amazing the amount of people out there with a similar story. That was the whole point in doing the book as well. So, it’s been an amazing couple of weeks.”
A sport such as rugby mightn’t always have been the most receptive to such discussions, but the reaction from within the game has pleasantly surprised him too.
“We played against Connacht the night after the Late Late Show, and even the Connacht lads on the pitch were saying, “fair play to you”. I’ve spoken to other teammates as well. I’d know some of our teammates would have the same issues as well without really bringing it up.
“I’ve had plenty of conversations with lads. Not too many knew about my own struggles but it’s been a great reaction off them. I’ve got a text of one or two fellas saying they’ve now gone and spoken to someone as well.”
Earls’ inner demons and struggles don’t come as a complete shock. Always endearingly honest in interviews, he has spoken about his acute nervousness and anxieties as a rugby player before, be it as a 21-year-old on the British & Irish Lions tour or in years subsequently.
But his biography, ‘Fight or Flight’, goes way further in detailing his upbringing in Moyross, the acute physical pain particularly in his back which made him hate rugby and want to retire and in divulging his mental health issues.
Although embarrassed to reveal the inner “hell” he suffered to the public, in his book and in subsequent interviews such as The Late Late Show and Off the Ball, Earls is also proud of highlighting such a taboo subject. He is entitled to as well, as his bravery should literally be life-changing for others who henceforth will be more inclined to seek help.
“Yeah, I have massive pride in it. It’s a bit crazy really that it hasn’t really been spoken about more. I know mental health and everything is getting better but it’s amazing really. Everyone definitely suffers from something but some fellas are better at getting out if it and understanding it. Look, I’m unbelievably proud but it’s weird that it’s had such a massive impact.”
Only in the "last couple of weeks" has he felt a weight off his shoulders, while also revealing that the environment fostered by Andy Farrell in the Irish camp has deepened relationships beyond mere teammates.
“At the start I was a bit embarrassed about it because of the stigma around it and that’s something which we’re trying to get rid of, the stigma of speaking about it. People have been so nice.
“In a way I suppose it’s a brave thing to do, put your story out there and keep being a professional. Trying to be a so-called ‘macho man’ rugby player but at the end of the day we’re all human as well and that’s what Andy and all of us in here are all about as well: the human side of the rugby player. So, we’re getting to know each other in a deeper level than any squad I’ve ever been involved with.”
Every cloud and all that. Lengthy, enforced periods of living amongst each other like never before in bio-secure bubbles have been a contributory factor.
"We were literally locked away for the Autumn Nations Cup and the Six Nations so we were all kind of jumping from each other's rooms and having coffees - all the boys set up the machines.
“We were in each other’s company 24/7, we weren’t left go home and that’s how we got to build that relationship and then the trust as well on the field and seeing how hard fellas train and what they do off the field in analysis. And the style of play we’re playing now as well, everyone wants to be a part of it which is great.”
In this Earls has confirmed what we have all seen. This is a tight-knit group who are clearly both enjoying each other’s friendships and the brand of rugby.
Happier in his own skin and still as fit as a flea at 34, the only frustration for Earls is that he has been restricted to so little game time this season, two starts at outside centre for Munster and two cameos there off the bench for Ireland, amounting to 162 minutes in total or, as he puts it, two matches when normally it takes three or four to achieve match fitness.
Not that he’s complaining after last Saturday’s win over the All Blacks.
“As weird as it sounds when you’re on the bench, to be on the field when the final whistle blows for a victory like that - it’s incredible.
"I'll never forget the feeling, myself and Andrew Conway looking at each other at the final whistle, two of us probably competing for the same position, but I was delighted for him because he missed out on a lot of big games, big victories. For him to finally get a win over the All Blacks was huge.
“That’s the way I’m looking at it. If I’m on the bench - I’m thinking the bench is probably more important, coming on and finishing the game.
There’s that little bit of pressure, but the celebration at the end is key.”
He acknowledges his versatility has helped and he’s happy to have played his part but now that he is mostly pain free he’s not settling for that.
“I’m not giving up on it, I’m going to fight for that starting spot but when players do get to a certain age coaches do have to start looking at other people. But, I’m certainly not going to just step away from it.
After all my injury issues have been sorted out I want to keep going.”
If handed a start against Argentina in what would be his 96th Test, Earls declares he’s primed.
“The training up here has been through the roof. It’s been an unbelievable couple of weeks. It would be great to get a start and I suppose put my hand up in the last game going into a massive club scene for a couple of months leading into the Six Nations early next year. Look, all I can do is keep doing what I’m doing and do what’s best for the squad as well.”
A wide range of supports is available for anyone experiencing mental health difficulties including: Pieta House, 1800 247 247, text HELP to 51444; Samaritans, 116 123, jo@samaritans.ie; Aware, 1800 80 48 48, supportmail@aware.ie
