Silent toter's revenge

It seems that caddies, as with people in all walks of life, develop reputations both good and bad within their profession

It seems that caddies, as with people in all walks of life, develop reputations both good and bad within their profession. What determines these reputations fascinates me. From respected to rejected and tolerated to redundant loopers, I have seen them come and go and flourish. Some last long, others last longer and many disappear. So what does a player look for in the "ideal caddie"? When Tommy Bolt went to Augusta many years ago for the Masters he had a clear idea as to what type of looper he was looking for.

Bolt went to the caddie master and asked him for a decent caddie: he wanted someone who could keep up and shut up, someone to carry the bag and offer no advice. Rich was the suggested man for this particular job. Rich was as obsequious as the Augusta caddie shack had to offer. Rich was given instructions by the fastidious Bolt. "I don't want a goddam weather report (wind direction), I don't want a goddam number (yardage), I don't want any club selection nor any lines on the greens. Are you sure you can do that Rich?"

Rich had quickly got the measure of his new, uncompromising boss. He nodded his head furiously with sealed lips, instilling confidence in Bolt that he had found his ideal caddie. So their partnership flourished in silence. They got to the eighth hole of the tournament without a word uttered, when Bolt got into a spot of bother down the left side, in the trees. He was faced with a difficult five iron shot under one branch through a gap amongst the trees, over a bunker and onto the green. A shot that Bolt miraculously executed, ending up some 10 feet from the pin. Tommy looked at Rich proudly, waiting for some reaction. Rich was poker faced and tight lipped, no reaction. Tommy looked at him excitedly and begged for some praise. Nothing. Rich was sticking to his terms of employment.

Exasperated, Tommy yells at Rich: "This time you are free to talk, Rich, you have my permission to speak. What did you think of that shot?" Rich unfolded his lips to respond. "Oh yes Sir, Mr Bolt, it sure was a pretty shot, but it weren't your ball." So, if Colin Montgomerie was to go into the caddie shack at Augusta in the year 2000 in search of a new caddie what type of person would he be looking for? I asked him and some of the top players on the European Tour what their three basic requirements were when choosing a bag toter.

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Montgomerie looks for "patience, even temperament and the ability to read a situation" in his long-serving caddie Alastair McLean.

McLean figures that he is being employed for "Monty's belief in my ability to do his job, for my understanding of Monty's capabilities (he knows he hits a five iron 190 yards) and for my compatible personality" (they can share a joke).

I can only assume that it's Montgomerie's subconscious at work when he says that even temperament is a vital quality in his bag-man. A balancing act on the other side of a capricious character. Two tour veterans in Bernhard Langer and his caddie of over 15 years, Peter Coleman, independently gave me almost identical answers to what they considered kept their partnership together for so long.

Langer (1) "Punctuality" - Coleman (1) "Time Keeping"

Langer (2) "Personal Presentation" - Coleman (2) "Personal Presentation"

Langer (3) "Being Positive and coping under pressure (no mysteries)" - Coleman (3) "Making him feel comfortable and being precise in every situation"

Langer said that nobody was perfect and they must deal with each other's faults. He made a reference, with a wide grin cracking open on his face, to a sort of marriage with Pete through golf, an abundance of understanding and empathy.

Lee Westwood wants his man to "turn up sober and on time, try hard, and be definite when providing information or advice". Mick Doran, his caddie, thinks that he is employed for his "punctuality, keeping positive, speaking my mind and not backing down".

Colin Byrne

Colin Byrne

Colin Byrne, a contributor to The Irish Times, is a professional caddy