ALL IN THE GAME:A soccer miscellany

MANCHESTER CITY'S Shaun Wright Phillips got a right slagging last week for arriving at training in his sparkly new €230,000 Rolls Royce Ghost.

An aggrieved Daily Mailtook it as proof that "our Premiership footballers get paid far too much money", describing the sight as a "Look at me!" moment.

Then came the miaow: "What onlookers found even funnier was the sight of the pint-sized star peering over the top of the steering wheel, the car clearly too big for the 5ft 5in winger."

Ah, nasty.

Although, looking at the photos, they had a point.

Count: Sven can't settle

IN LIGHT of his eye-popping managerial CV - Degerfors, Goteborg, Benfica, Roma, Fiorentina, Benfica, Sampdoria, Lazio, England, Manchester City, Mexico, Notts County and Ivory Coast - you'd wonder how Sven-Goran Eriksson replied when Leicester City asked him in his job interview: "Where do you see yourself in five years"?

Possibly: "Vell, not here."

Homesick: Milan moans

JULY

"It is an honour for me to sign for one of the biggest clubs in football. I cannot wait to start working with the manager."

- Milan Jovanovic, the 29-year-old Serbian forward, on joining Liverpool on a free transfer from Standard Liege.

OCTOBER

"I am starting to find the time dragging on. If things do not sort themselves out I will change club. I miss Standard and the city of Liege."

- Jovanovic on wanting to rejoin Standard Liege - whose fans affectionately nicknamed him The Snake when he was in Belgium - from Liverpool.

Sticking to stereotypes: Sicily's own Schillaci scores screen role

HE MIGHT have broken our hearts in the summer of 1990 with that poxy/well-taken goal in the World Cup quarter-finals in Rome, but it was hard not to be happy for tournament top-scorer Toto Schillaci after his inclusion in the Italian squad had caused such a rumpus.

You might recall that there were ugly insinuations that coach Azeglio Vicini had been, eh, gently persuaded to call up Schillaci by some, eh, shady types from Sicily.

This prompted fury from the player's fellow islanders who reckoned the mainlanders assumed no Palermo lad could make good without the help of, well, you know who.

And you have to say, it was a fairly tired bit of stereotyping, one that followed Schillaci (pictured recently above) through his career.

Anyway, what's the fella up to now?

Well, he's turning his hand to acting, having landed himself a role in an Italian TV series. Who's he playing? Eh, a mafia boss.

PS:On a similar theme, Napoli were a touch aggrieved last week by the report in Romanian newspaper Evenimentul Zilei on their comeback against Steaua Bucharest in the Europa League, the Italians drawing 3-3 after trailing by three goals.

How was the comeback described?

"A mafia-style execution."

"There is no other Sam Allardyce, there is just the one. There never has been and never will be another Sam Allardyce. Sam Allardyce doesn't manage like anyone else."

- Eh, Sam Allardyce

ON THE GRAPEVINE

TERRIFIC NEWS for Manchester United fans: the club has a new "official wine partner". A three-year deal with Chilean company Concha y Toro has been inked, their produce now being served in Old Trafford's hospitality suites. Alex Ferguson is chuffed, declaring the match to be nigh on uncanny.

"There are many similarities between wine and football," he said with a straight face at the contract-signing ceremony. "In football we seek the best young players to develop and form them from their beginnings to making them outstanding Manchester United players. I have seen a similarity with Concha y Toro, which seeks to harvest the best grapes, produce the best wines, and have the patience and intelligence to ensure that the end result is perfect."

Hopefully it leaves a better aftertaste than that 0-0 defeat by Sunderland.

Jose who: Rafa reflects

YOU KNOW the way Jose Mourinho had a modestly successful season with Inter Milan in 2009-'10, winning the Italian Serie A, the Coppa Italia and the Champions League?

That, of course, made him a hard act to follow for Rafa Benitez, but the former Liverpool supremo has found a way of dealing with the problem: just airbrush Jose out of Inter history.

"In my view," he said last week, "the current Inter are a team showing the fruits of the hard work done by people like Roberto Mancini (Inter manager 2004-'08) and Hector Cuper (2001-'03) before him."

You can almost hear the "yoo hoo!" from Madrid.

QUOTES

"Amazing club, you feel it in every moment. I used to say when we arrive in any airport in the world or even in Spain it looks like the Beatles arriving in San Francisco in the 60s."

- The Fab One, Jose Mourinho, on Real Madrid causing hysteria wherever they go.

"You have to live your life the right way and I've always been a saint. Eat the right food, drink the right wine and you'll be okay. And by the way, I'm 93."

- Alex Ferguson. Bit of a fibber.

"Juventus are Juventus: they are a big team but it is hard for Juventus to compete with Milan and Inter right now. Juventus are not in their best place but they are still Juventus."

- And Patrick Vieira is still Patrick Vieira.

Jury is out: Fletcher's excuse a little far-fetched

POOR OLD Carl Fletcher, captain of Plymouth Argyle, got a whole heap of derision last week after his failed attempt to get out of jury service. Fletcher argued in Plymouth Crown Court that he should be excused because of his work commitments (that'd be a Johnstone's Paint Trophy game at Cheltenham Town) and that because he was so well known in the area it could be dangerous for him to sit on a jury.

The judge, though, was having none of it, telling the player that "lots of well-known people, some more famous than you, have been required to sit on juries - captaining Plymouth Argyle is not sufficient reason for not doing jury service".

Fletcher was less than pleased with the judge's decision, which will require him to do his duty before heading off for the game, curiously declaring when he left the court: "I am glad I have to pay my taxes to do jury service!"

In fairness to the judge, he gave Fletcher a potential out, asking him if he suffered from a "mental disorder".

"You'll have to ask my wife on that one," came the reply.

8The number of French players who started in yesterday's game between Chelsea and Arsenal, compared to just three from England. (It was nine if you include French-born Marouane Chamakh, but he plays for Morocco).

Food for thought : Harry has a rethink over merits of diet

2009

"You can't even get a white slice of bread in the Tottenham canteen. It's all about creating the right diet for the players."

- Harry Redknapp on the club's efforts to improve the players' diets.

2010

"I take him for double pie and mash after training! I have always said that if you can pass the ball, it makes no difference what you eat! I have seen players eat all sorts - steak and kidney pie, chips and peas two-and-a-half hours before kick-off. It is great that we have fitness people and dieticians and the players get every help, but it can't make you pass the ball straight."

- Harry Redknapp, speaking about midfielder/defender Tom Huddlestone, on his efforts to banjax the club's efforts to improve the players' diets.