“The Irish Times,” smiled Mr Security Guard as bag and laptop were scanned at the ring-fenced Festhalle in Frankfurt. “Do Ireland qualify for this draw?”
Being generous, he meant “Will Ireland qualify for the Euros?” when the tournament returns to this city in June 2024.
Not much else was lost in translation. We responded by inquiring about the history of this gargantuan dome building. Some good days, like a Led Zeppelin concert in 1970, other darker memories as a plaque marks Kristallnacht, the Night of the Broken Glass, from November 1938.
All 53 nations present at this Uefa gathering of blazers must shoulder some burden of history but the Germans, with their smooth transport system and refusal to embrace an increasingly cashless world, are primed to welcome the neighbours. Again.
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Stephen Kenny shrugged and glided among the dignitaries, unfussed by the enormity of the task ahead in 2023 (and almost certainly a play-off in March 2024). FAI chief executive Jonathan Hill also embraced the occasion, seeing financial opportunity when others are blinded by the near certainty of failure in Group B. Again.
Silver lining: the FAI season ticket renewals are next week. Line up for bulging full houses at the Aviva Stadium. Hill will feel like Willy Wonka come the France and the Netherlands weeks with Greece also set to sell out Lansdowne Road for what promises to be the toughest qualification draw the Republic for Ireland has ever known.
Sure, Portugal and the Netherlands stood in the way of Mick McCarthy’s men before 2002, but Roy Keane ruled the midfields of Europe back then while Damien Duff and Robbie Keane led a plethora of Premier League regulars to Saipan and the great beyond.
“We would have made the semi-finals easily,” said Kevin Kilbane earlier this year. “And probably the final. Roy would have dominated midfield against Germany and Spain. In every big match around that time I felt we were going to win.”
Those days have passed. Uefa ambassador Robbie Keane is still around, strolling up the red carpet with old pal Luis Figo.
One positive from this nightmare draw is the guarantee of cold hard cash piling into at least one of the FAI’s bank accounts. That should keep the lights on in Abbotstown this winter.
The Dutch ship will be manned by Ronald Koeman — as he replaces Louis van Gaal — and barring a French meltdown in Qatar, Didier Deschamps will bring a sensational French outfit to Dublin. Thierry Henry’s handball revisited.
“You can relay that question to Keith Andrews as he has mentioned it once or twice,” laughed Kenny in the face of his cruel fate. “He obviously played in that game and I’m sure it will get another airing.
“That was a very good display, the last one [in Paris] and the Thiery Henry situation but that is what we have got to aspire to, to put in big performances away and at home.
“The players will relish the opportunity to do that. They are career-defining games and they will want to produce their best in those games that really have a significant impact on their careers and their country.”
Deschamps choose not to stall for long, never mind speak English in the mixed zone, because the great water carrier of 1998 is knee-deep in World Cup preparations.
“It is a fairly dense group, a group of value,” he shrugged, “A draw can always be better, it can always be worse.”
[ Euro 2024 draw: ‘Something extraordinary’ needed to finish in top two, says KennyOpens in new window ]
Thankfully, Gus Poyet had all the time in the world. Having found himself in charge of Greece, via stints at clubs in Spain, China, France and Chile, since parting ways with Sunderland in 2015, the Uruguayan was loose-lipped and philosophical in equal measure.
“Everyone was saying ‘OK, not Group B or C [England and Italy],’” said the former Chelsea midfielder. “Unfortunately, it is how it is. You cannot predict this. It’s a little bit of luck. It’s going to be very difficult, very difficult for us.
“We’re going to try to enjoy it, for the players it is great, playing against great players and national teams. But the idea of playing in qualification is to qualify.
“For Greece, that is very important to qualify for a big tournament because since 2014 we have not. We were expecting a little bit more luck but fair enough, we’ll play.”
The incoming Dutch and French also means that the FAI do not need to court heavyweight friendlies in the two spare international windows caused by having a five-team group. So Kenny can tailor opposition to suit Irish cloth.
“Ireland are very competitive, they don’t give up and go till the end,” said Poyet. “We like a little more, let’s call it, Latin football. In Greece, we like it slow, passing the ball and different kinds so we have to be at our best to compete.”
Similar dice for Kenny’s Ireland team. They must surpass their best to compete.
