January
"Don't be a plank - vote for Frank." - Frank Bruno announces his catchphrase for his planned General Election campaign later in the year, when he intended standing for the Conservative Party in Brentwood. Curiously, he wasn't nominated.
"They are all built up and, you know, it's not from mother's cooking. I think it's got to the stage where the field is too small now. If it was the right size in our day, then it can't be right now." - Rugby legend Moss Keane, hardly size 'petite' in his playing days, on the shape of modern rugby players.
"Are you Tim Henman in disguise?" - Bohemians supporters to their Shamrock Rovers rivals after Rovers had led 4-1 and lost 6-4.
"I love the Irish, I hope the team play well but I have to live in Rome." - The Pope to Irish rugby manager Brian O'Brien after meeting the squad at the Vatican ahead of the Six Nations match between Italy and Ireland.
"He's pretty sharp, isn't he?" - Keith Wood, after his audience with the Pope. Or was it the Pope's audience with Keith Wood?
February
"I never wanted to be famous." - British sailor Ellen MacArthur after completing her 94-day, non-stop solo global circumnavigation.
"Betting has to be intuition, not spontaneity. John (JP McManus) knows the difference between involvement and commitment - the chicken is involved, the pig is committed." - Sir Peter O'Sullevan on the makings of a good gambler.
"It is hard to perceive the incredible disruption these events cause to the lives of locals, with people urinating and vomiting in our gardens, the constant knocking and tapping on doors and peering through the windows of terraced houses." - The Croke Park Residents Alliance object to Croke Park being opened up to other sports, because they have enough trouble as it is. "We took some flak in certain quarters but that was the idea, to create awareness amongst players and public that players had got up off their arses and done something rather than just talk about it on barstools until two in the morning." - Dessie Farrell, chairman of the Gaelic Players Association.
"I'm absolutely overwhelmed at this result, I must be doing something right." - Pat Hickey after he was comfortably re-elected for a fourth term as president of the Olympic Council of Ireland, defeating Richard Burrows by 27 votes to 10.
"I wasn't sure, I was about as doubtful as everyone else" (Brian O'Driscoll); "I actually thought that it wasn't a try" (Peter Clohessy); "It was absolutely 100 per cent a try" (Keith Wood). - Fortunately Ireland's teamwork was more co-ordinated in their 22-15 Six Nations' win over France (in which O'Driscoll didn't appear to ground the ball for his try).
"It got to the point where I owed one bookie £65,000, another £40,000 and a third £25,000 ... but thankfully my debts never got to what I would call crazy money." - Footballer John Hartson on his little gambling problem.
March
"I think Graham Henry's selection of 18 Welsh players is shocking - if the Welsh were still playing at Murrayfield now, they'd not have created a try." - Former Scottish international Colin Deans on the make-up of the preliminary Lions squad.
"By half-time we were 27-0 up and someone asked if we should carry on playing, but I said anything can happen in football." - Jill Shinton, coach of Willenhall Town women's soccer team ... who went on to lose their West Midlands League Division One game 57-0.
"It will take me a week to figure this out." - Des Smyth after becoming the oldest player to win a European PGA event, the Madeira Island Open.
April
"He's a piece of meat that I'll play with." - Lennox Lewis ahead of his World Heavyweight title fight against Hasim Rahman. "Who won?" - Lennox Lewis after being knocked out by Rahman.
"He gave me a super spin, but then we had different ideas and parted company." - Jockey Tom Doyle after Esprit de Cotte threw him over a fence at the Grand National when he refused to jump.
"I certainly didn't expect to win. I expected to be on my way home. In fact, I parked in a short-stay car park at the airport. Now, I'm going to have to win the tournament to pay the fee." - Steve Davis after beating Ken Doherty in the Irish Masters - he lost to Ronnie O'Sullivan in the next round.
Reporter: "How good can Martin O'Neill become - as good as you?" Brian Clough: "No, that's being ridiculous."
"It showed we can take nothing for granted, but it could have been worse - no lives were lost." - JP McManus after Istabraq's fall at the final hurdle of the Shell Champion Hurdle at Leopardstown.
"We hope your farm gets foot-and-mouth." - As sung by fans at referee Russell Tiffin, a farmer, at an English amateur match after he sent off one of the home players. A tearful Tiffin promptly abandoned the match.
"I just can't wait to wake up in the morning and know that I've won. I have a National league title in my pocket. I wasn't going to be a loser my whole life in football but if I hadn't won something then I would have been." - David Brady after Mayo's National Football League final victory over Galway.
May
"I love being weed on, pooed on and thrown up on. It's all at the same time too. He's got some talent, my boy." - Lee Westwood on the joys of fatherhood.
"A few months ago, a little woman from the Liberties, Jimmy Fullam's granny, gave me rosary beads and a card. I hadn't seen rosary beads since my First Communion, but I was stood in the hotel before our first cup game and I had a strong premonition that I'd be sitting on the sofa in that same hotel having a pint after we had won the league." - Bohemians manager Roddy Collins.
"Ronaldo has disappointed me. I'll only be satisfied when I see him in the shit. They say he is a phenomenon but he is a phenomenon who goes out with whores." - Lucia Domingues after Ronaldo started divorce proceedings against her daughter Milena.
"There are seven winners of the Monaco Grand Prix on the starting line today and four of them are Michael Schumacher." Murray Walker. Who else? "... this being Michael Schumacher's 10th race in his 151st year in F1." - Murray again.
June
"I ran like a lemon and lemons don't run." - British 400 metres runner Daniel Caines after a poor performance at the Seville Grand Prix.
"My colleagues in the press tent don't like the way Mark Brookes conducts interviews. They say he's cranky, condescending and always complaining. Sounds to me like he's got the three attributes it takes to be a sports writer." - The Golf Digest's Tim Rosaforte during the US Open.
"My initial aim was to clear the ruck, and I thought I did that quite effectively. I cleared the full back but from then on I don't really now what happened. I got a bit of a hammering." - Irish Lion Ronan O'Gara tries to figure out how he ended up with a hideously swollen left eye, given to him the fist of New South Wales' Duncan McRae.
"The Fraziers have a great love for the Ali family. We especially love giving them a good butt-kicking." - Jacqui Frazier-Lyde, daughter of Joe Frazier, as she prepared to fight Laila Ali, Muhammed's girl.
"Lanny doesn't have to worry about offending his friends out here on tour, because he doesn't have any." - Hal Sutton's response to news that Lanny Wadkins would be commentating for CBS television at the Memorial Tournament.
"Golan would have needed an outboard motor to beat Galileo today." - Jockey Kieren Fallon, who missed a ride on Golan through suspension, admitting he wouldn't have beaten Galileo any way in the Epsom Derby.
"We had a little chat and he told me that tomorrow is a brand new day and today will never come back." - US Open winner Retief Goosen explaining how sports psychologist Jos Vanstiphout helped banish memories of the "worst three putt in history" (as described by Johnny Miller) to prepare him for victory in the play-off.
July
"I think it was one of the great Lions' performances in a highly charged week against the best side in the world." - Donal Lenihan reflecting on the Lions' victory over Australia (29-13) in the first test in Brisbane.
"It is the biggest mistake he will make in his life. He won't do it again. He will have a severe bollocking when I get in, but I am not going to sack him. He's a good lad, he just has to watch what he's doing".- Ian Woosnam on caddy Myles Byrne after the Welshman was penalised two shots for having an extra club in his bag.
"I give you one ****ing job and you can't even do that." - Woosnam's response to Byrne.
"If some angel comes to me in my sleep and says 'Goran you are going to win Wimbledon but you are not able to touch the racket ever again in your life', I would say 'okay, I will never play tennis again'." - Goran Ivanisevic hinting at how much he wanted to win Wimbledon.
"Pele was a complete player. I didn't see him live obviously, because I wasn't born." - David Beckham.
August
"EPO Cheats Out." - The words on the banner displayed by Paula Radcliffe at the women's 5,000 metres final at the world championships in Edmonton, in protest at winner Olga Yegorova.
"It went on so long that I was half expecting the cleaner to throw the keys at us and shout 'lock the place up when you've finished'." - Mark Wilkinson on his 11 hours, 38 minute snooker match against Jason Ferguson, the longest best-of-19-frame match in snooker history.
"If you keep working hard it is going to pay off some day. That's what I have been telling myself for the past 17 years now." - Rower Tony O'Connor after winning gold, along with Sam Lynch and Sinead Jennings, at the World Championships in Lucerne.
September
"Meath football is honest-to-goodness football, it's from the heart, it's passionate. To succeed you need the two ingredients and you have both in abundance. The very best of luck to you." - Kerry manager Pβid∅ ╙ SΘ after Meath's All-Ireland semi-final victory.
"I think that in life, if you keep hopping your head off a stone wall, eventually you will get a break." - Tipperary manager Nicky English after beating Galway 2-18 to 2-15 in the All-Ireland hurling final.
"Personally, this is the realisation of a dream. It means everything. You give your life to playing hurling. The ambition for everybody is to win an All-Ireland medal. I've been hurling with Tipp eight years and won nothing except a couple of national leagues. Winning a Munster championship and All-Ireland makes everything worthwhile, all the sacrifices." - Tipperary captain Tommy Dunne on fulfilling his All-Ireland winning dream.
"Answer it!" - An infuriated Jennifer Capriati responds to a spectator's mobile phone ringing during a match.
"I wish I had shares in Swiss Telecom. I couldn't add up the number of times a phone went off." - Lee Westwood on more mobile phone problems, this time at the European Masters in Switzerland.
"The decision to postpone is one of common sense. What happened in America last week has put the Ryder Cup and everything else into perspective." - European captain Sam Torrance on the postponement of the Ryder Cup.
"If the Ryder Cup is cancelled or postponed, you are allowing these terrorists to win." - European team member Colin Montgomerie begs to differ..
"It was getting to the stage where Girvan (Dempsey) would've got injured in a bouncy castle." - Ireland's assistant rugby coach, Eddie O'Sullivan, on Dempsey's spate of injuries over the past two seasons.
"Every player in our team lifted themselves today. To watch it was unbelievable. At the end, with the crowd cheering the passes and us so far ahead, well, I don't know. You could never write a script for a game like that." - Galway captain Gary Fahey after his county won the All-Ireland Football final.
October
"The past is history." - Leicester City manager Dave Bassett.
"Denise has told me she's going to wait until Monday and I go along with what she says. But it could be interesting if her waters break with the score at 8-8 in the final." - John Higgins after reaching the semi-finals of the Regal Masters title in Glasgow, before his child was born.
"The midfield picks itself - Beckham, Scholes, Gerrard and A N Other." - Phil Neal.
"I try to maintain control, try to stay calm. But the red mist sometimes descends - and once that happens 50,000 people would not be able to stop me bursting into a fit of rage." - Roy Keane on his sending off in Manchester United's 4-3 defeat by Newcastle.
"I do not look in the mirror much, I have no need to, but I would imagine that Saturday's game will feature one of the ugliest crowds on record." - Keith Wood on the appearance of 10,000 Keith Woods at Lansdowne Road for Ireland's Six Nations game against England (courtesy of Guinness-sponsored cut-out face masks).
"A pretty special day, wasn't it?" - Warren Gatland after Ireland's 20-14 win over England.
November
"The 'ard man's gone soft, eh?" - Mick McCarthy after the Republic of Ireland qualified for the World Cup in Tehran.
"Unbelievable, I can't fathom it"; "That's disgusting, that's absolutely disgusting"; "He's been royally shafted." - The reaction of three Irish internationals to the IRFU's decision to dispense with Warren Gatland's services.
"Ireland had good cause to curse bad judgement and ill-luck (losing to Scotland at Murrayfield). Indeed, coach Warren Gatland is cursing all the way to the employment exchange. Not even Pol Pot in a blazer would have dared sack a man after nearly landing a Grand Slam." - The London Telegraph's Mike Cleary.
"I like to drown my sorrows after a defeat - and after our start to the season I could have been an alcoholic." - Watford manager Gianluca Vialli.
"What do you think when you hear the name Ireland? Sheep, whiskey and the cult rockers U2? That's all true!" - Germany's Express newspaper after the World Cup draw.
"I was standing at the end of the tunnel and as Limerick's Steve McDonagh was coming out something inside me said 'Will I flatten him?' It would have been an absolutely crazy thing to do. I wanted something to show them (Limerick) that although they had all the noise from the supporters, by God we were going to take them on that day." - Former Clare hurling manager Ger Loughane in his book "Raising the Banner".
"A contemplated exercise of thuggery." - Former Limerick hurling manager Tom Ryan's response to Loughane's comments (above).
December
"We were acting as pals, joking around." - Israeli basketball coach Pini Gershon explaining remarks he made in a lecture to army officers - "Even among blacks there are different colours ... the darker blacks are stupid, they will do whatever you tell them, like slaves."
"When I say that he needs to stand up and be counted, I mean that he needs to sit down and take a look at himself in the mirror." - Former Spurs defender Gary Mabbutt's advice to Alex Ferguson.
"I told Jackie because I had lost at Wimbledon I was pretty disappointed. I said, 'We can't afford to eat anymore because mommy's not doing well right now'. I looked into her eyes and we were both hungry." - Serena Williams revealing the heart-to-heart she had with her Jack Russell after losing in the Wimbledon quarter-finals.
"This is a snakes and ladders team. We go up the ladder and then find a bleedin' great snake to slide back down again." - Leicester manager Dave Bassett.
