Strictly speaking, a cue for Taylor to pocket the third Cha

TV View : After the week that was in it - gloom, doom and fume - there really was only one sporting sight that could cheer us…

TV View: After the week that was in it - gloom, doom and fume - there really was only one sporting sight that could cheer us up, that of the Coalisland cuemaster doing the Cha Cha Cha. And before you get pernickety, "Dancesport" is recognised by the International Olympic Committee so we are technically permitted to muse over the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing.

We did, though, check first, just to be sure. Did you know that the IOC also recognises Bandy and Wushu? Never heard of them? Well, Bandy is sort of ice hockey played on a surface the size of a football pitch and Wushu derives from a wide variety of ancient Chinese martial arts and its performances include bare-hands, sword and broadsword as short apparatus and spear and cudgel as long apparatus.

God bless Al Gore for inventing the internet.

We digress. Back to Strictly Come Dancing and Dennis Taylor, for the Coalisland cuemaster is he. Dennis's dance partner for the series is Izabela Hannah who is a professional dancer but doesn't currently have a partner.

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After watching her train Dennis we could see why. The man was genuinely afraid, indeed he admitted he was concerned she would break his legs if he got a move wrong.

"I love hard work and I love pain," Izabela told us, at which point Dennis's eyes disappeared behind the steam on the lens of his glasses.

But Dennis really had made a rod for his own back by boasting about his Coalisland youth when "I could jive with two girls at once - it was very hard to keep the rhythm going whilst dancing with them both, anyone who could do that was looked up to."

Or, you'd imagine, was beaten up outside the hall for being greedy.

So, Dennis and Izabela hit the floor. The Cha Cha Cha. Although, apparently, the Cha Cha Cha is more commonly known these days as the Cha Cha. What happened the third Cha? D'you know, the way Dennis wiggled his bum we think he had it hidden in his back pocket.

A revelation he was, although because we know nothing about these things we're not sure if he was technically Cha Cha Cha-ing.

Is thrusting your mid-region forwards in a slightly provocative manner, placing your hand on your hip and pointing at the ceiling, a la Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, strictly Cha Cha Cha-ing?

And, more importantly, after that move when Izabela spun Dennis so violently he was almost drilled through the studio floor, will the BBC pay for his hip replacement? It'll be a long time before he comfortably jives with one girl, never mind two.

Still, the judges were impressed. "I thought you were very groovy and funky," Craig Revel Horwood told Dennis. Izabela beamed, before taking Dennis back to the dance studio to train for programme two. More hard work, more pain.

Also through to the next stage is England cricketer Darren Gough. Now, Darren's appearance on the show caused an eyebrow or 36 to be raised amongst the England cricket selectors.

They were kind of hoping that he would play in the one-day series in Pakistan, but Darren told them he wanted to spend more time with his family and his injured knee needed more time to heal.

So he signed up for Strictly Come Dancing. Hours and hours and hours of training in the company of his partner, the sizzling Lilia Kopylova, twisting his knee in directions it had never before been pointed.

"Good luck, do well and mind your knee," said a grinning Andrew Flintoff in a recorded message for our Darren.

Anyway, Darren hit the floor with Lilia, wearing a sleeveless little black number with sequins. Darren that is, not Lilia. We mention this only because Darren's from Yorkshire and he has to go home some time.

We thought he did fine but Craig Revel Horwood told him his Cha Cha Cha was, "I'm afraid to say, chunky, lumpy with no personality - and you have really, really nasty hands".

Darren, who had told us before that he would give "120 per cent" was gutted, but he was cheered by Bruno Tonioli's verdict. "It was like the Rhino and the showgirl - but you're a very light-footed rhino," he said. "Thanks," beamed Darren.

Arlene Phillips, though, then offered Darren some advice that we really can't see doing a whole lot of good for his cricketing career: "Get rid of those bowling hands". Darren, you should know, still hopes to play in the 2007 World Cup. Maybe if just Cha Cha Chas the ball down the wicket the Aussie and Indian batsmen will be, eh, stumped.

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan

Mary Hannigan is a sports writer with The Irish Times