It was another horrible, rainy October night and I was doing what any person with little to no ambition or motivation would do – I was sitting on the couch, tickling my dogs and maniacally refreshing my various newsfeeds. All of the sudden, I was confronted with an advert for Paddy Power online poker, which I quickly proceeded to close. Fate however, had other ideas and in what can only be described as real life inception, Paddy managed to worm his way out of the advert and into my brain. All I could think about was playing that goddamn game, and so, never being a man to starve temptation, I downloaded the desktop app.

Paddy kindly advised me to gamble responsibly – sage advice as always from a company who’d more than likely give you odds on how many roast potatoes your Granny will eat at Christmas dinner. However, to Paddy’s great dismay, I didn’t heed the warning and with a few strokes of the keyboard, I deposited my very last Bruce Jenner into the account.

With that, I was ready to hit the tables. My heart was pounding, this was it, my ticket to the big-time. I clicked on ‘cash games’ and decided on a table with a two euro buy in, with blinds of one and two cent.

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