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Beijing parents keep an eye on blind date corner

Beijing Letter: Notices in a park advertise young people in search of a partner

At blind date corner in Zhongshan park in Beijing a father walks around with his unmarried daughter's information clipped on his bag.  Photograph: Zhang Peng/LightRocket via Getty Images
At blind date corner in Zhongshan park in Beijing a father walks around with his unmarried daughter's information clipped on his bag. Photograph: Zhang Peng/LightRocket via Getty Images

The traffic was snarled up all over the city because of the Beijing marathon so the park at the Temple of Heaven was a little less busy than usual for a Sunday morning. But groups of mostly older people were stretching and turning gracefully as they performed t’ai chi under the trees, while a spry, stern-faced gentleman nearby practised swinging a samurai sword.

In a shallow hollow a mixed group of men and women of different ages were playing jianzi, passing a large, weighted shuttlecock between them. The idea was to keep it off the ground all the time without using their hands, mostly kicking and bouncing it off their legs.

Along each side of a narrow path above the hollow and covered with fallen leaves lay rows of laminated A4 pages with long messages, some printed and others written by hand. Every few paces stood grey-haired figures, alone or in pairs, holding up one of the notices and occasionally chatting about it with someone passing by.

“A third generation Beijing Haidian native born in 1993, 185cm (6′1″) tall, unmarried and financially solvent. He has good facial features, fair skin, no short-sightedness and is an only child with a good personality. He is tolerant, generous, has no bad habits and good interpersonal skills and he has a bachelor’s degree in digital finance and data,” one notice read.

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“Requirement: a woman born after 1996, 170cm (5′6″) or taller, a graduate degree or above, unmarried, good appearance, preferably from an urban intellectual family and preferably a Beijing family.”

This is Beijing’s blind date corner, an informal matchmaking service for singles that operates in the park every Sunday and Wednesday morning. Although the notices advertise young people in search of a partner none of the lonely hearts themselves take part in the process, which is conducted entirely by their parents.

“It’s the parents of the children who get to know each other first. If both sides approve of each other’s character and the children’s conditions are relatively matched, they can let the children add WeChat to get in touch,” said Mrs Chen, who has been coming here for four months to find a match for her 30-year-old daughter.

Mrs Chen’s daughter has a bachelor’s degree and works as an accountant for a state-owned enterprise with a stable income. Mrs Chen advertises the fact that she and her husband both have pensions, are in good health and own a house and a car.

Like most of the parents here Mrs Chen’s minimum requirements include a bachelor’s degree, a stable income and a Beijing hukou, the household registration that holds the key to everything from social welfare and healthcare to the best schools. But with notices advertising women hugely outnumbering those for men, blind date corner is a severely unbalanced marriage market, with men’s parents in the most privileged position.

Mr Wang’s son is 35 and divorced with a son but he is looking for a woman around eight years younger than him with a master’s degree, a Beijing hukou and no history of marriage. Mr Wang and his wife both have pensions so they will not be a financial burden on their son and they own three apartments and two cars in Beijing.

“Although he is divorced with children, because of his excellent personal qualities parents of many girls still ask me about him. But we are quite picky. My son is tall and good-looking, and he is also quite picky himself,” Mr Wang said. “I think it’s a good thing for parents to meet first. The child is basically like his parents. If the parents are no good the child is not worth meeting.”

Some parents displayed a number of notices, one for their own son or daughter and the others for those of their friends. But most acknowledged that the likelihood of finding a match was low (“about 1,000 to one”, Mrs Chen said) and that their unmarried offspring took little interest in their matchmaking.

Mr She lives hear the park and he has been coming to blind date corner for six months. His daughter is 31 and was married briefly but has no children and he is hoping to find a man with a Beijing hukou who is not too much older than her.

“Every day after buying groceries I walk through this park and look at the singles here for her, just in case there is someone suitable...She knows that we are here at the dating corner to find a partner for her and she doesn’t object. If there is a suitable one, we will meet; if not that’s it,” he said.

“We’ll just try our best, open up all channels, and if it doesn’t work out the worst that can happen is that we’ll just live our own lives. The chances of success here are not high, and everyone is taking a ‘let’s give it a go’ attitude, which is also quite nice.”