‘We were four and now we are three’: Irish family of Grace O’Malley-Kumar share grief following Nottingham attack

On a warm, sunny Thursday evening Sinéad O’Malley, a doctor from Dublin, looks out across Old Market Square in Nottingham at the crowd that has come to share her family’s grief. “All they were doing was walking home,” she tells them, her voice faltering with pain and confusion.

All they were doing was walking home. O’Malley’s 19-year-old daughter, university medical student Grace O’Malley-Kumar, was stabbed to death along with her student friend, Barnaby ‘Barney’ Webber, early on Tuesday morning on Ilkeston Road, a 20-minute walk from the square. Barnaby fell first and died quickly in the middle of the street. Grace was heard screaming as she staggered to the side of a nearby house, before collapsing.

Soon afterwards, 65-year-old school caretaker Ian Coates was also stabbed to death 2.5 miles away on Magdala Road, before three people were hit and injured by the attacker who it is believed stole his van. A suspect was arrested minutes later. Nottinghamshire police were being helped in their investigation by counter-terrorism officers, the British government said.

Nottinghamshire police said on Friday evening that a man had been charged with three counts of murder. Valdo Calocane (31) is also accused of three counts of attempted murder after a van was allegedly driven at pedestrians in the early hours of Tuesday morning, they added.

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Barely 60 hours after the incidents, the families of the three victims who were killed gather for a vigil on the steps of the city hall, known as Nottingham Council House. It lies at one end of the large square, which on Thursday evening is full with people feeling anguish and disbelief. Muffled cries puncture the silence every few seconds.

At 6pm, Nottingham falls silent on the sixth ring of the Council House’s bell. Bus and tram drivers stop to join the minute’s silence all over this football-mad university city. On the square, a woman near the front holds up a bunch of balloons bearing a message: “Choose love.”

Grace’s mother, her doctor father Sanjoy Kumar, and her teenage brother James O’Malley-Kumar reflect this sentiment as they tell the crowd: “Don’t hold hate in your hearts.” Still, they stand bereft in the evening sun, along with the other victims’ families, trying to make sense of what is truly senseless.

Grace’s father shakes his head as the tears roll down his face, and he holds what remains of his family. “We were four and now we are three,” he says, his face crumpling. The moment is almost too overwhelming for some who are there to witness it.

Several members of the wider O’Malley clan, a high-profile Irish medical family, have flown in from Dublin to show support, and are sitting to the left of the stage on the council steps. They include professor Kevin O’Malley, Grace’s Kildare-born 82-year-old grandfather, who is a past chief executive of the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (RCSI).

Following the final stage of his career overseeing the RCSI’s college in Bahrain, Prof O’Malley is now retired. He must have been hoping to see his granddaughter become the latest member of the family to qualify in medicine – Grace’s great-grandfather was a doctor along with several of his siblings. So too are several more in the O’Malley family throughout the generations, while the Kumars are a family of doctors too.

Sinéad O’Malley says Grace wanted only a few things in life. “To be a doctor, to play hockey, and to have fun,” she says. Her younger brother says that he has lost his “best friend”. Even in his grief, he makes a point of thanking his Irish relatives for flying in. “It means the most,” he says.

Before moving to Nottingham for her first, and now only, year of medical studies, Grace grew up at the family home in Woodford Green, northeast London. Her father works at the nearby Larkshall family medical practice that was founded by his mother 45 years ago. Sinéad O’Malley worked as a consultant anaesthetist but is now listed as Larkshall practice manager.

Last year, Grace finished at the prestigious Bancrofts school nearby. Her father attended the same school, where her brother is also still a student. The school says Grace was “an immensely gifted and dedicated scholar and sportswoman”.

The whole O’Malley-Kumar family are keen on sport. Grace was a “fiercely competitive” past captain of the Wells Baby Belles junior girls team at the Woodford Wells cricket club in Essex. But hockey was her real passion. She was a “shining light” at Old Loughtonians club in Essex, before moving on to play for Southgate Hockey Club’s women’s team.

In 2019, she was selected to play for the England under-16 team, much to her mother’s pride. “Great work Grace,” Sinéad O’Malley tweeted that July after Grace scored for England against Belgium, two months after scoring against Scotland. In her final year at Bancrofts, she was selected for England under-18s.

Sanjoy Kumar met his wife in Dublin when he came to Ireland for medical studies after he qualified from King’s College in London.

In 2009, he was described as a hero for helping to save the lives of three teenage stabbing victims who were bundled into his surgery following a gang-related attack nearby.

He has also volunteered to treat violent patients. For years, Britain’s National Health Service (NHS) has referred to him patients that have attacked other NHS staff. He received an MBE for this rehabilitation work in 2011. “It is challenging work and sometimes life-threatening,” he said then, as he was awarded his MBE.

He now describes himself as a “broken-hearted father”.

At the bottom of the hill on Ilkeston Road, near the White Horse pub, flowers mark the spot where Grace and Barnaby were murdered. They were only yards from their student accommodation.

Back at Old Market Square vigil, their families, and the family of Ian Coates, share memories of their loved ones. The O’Malley-Kumars recall Grace’s sports prowess. The Webbers talk about how their Barney, a history student, also wanted to be a Royal Airforce Pilot. “Maybe he would have flown Spitfires,” says his mother, Emma. His teenage brother Charlie’s grief is physical. He can’t stop shaking. The sons of Ian Coates wear the jerseys of their father’s beloved Nottingham Forest.

As the vigil ends, scores of people approach the families bearing flowers. Grace’s father, mother and brother hug and chat with countless strangers. A young woman, crying openly, gives Sanjoy Kumar flowers with a long note attached and the inscription: “For Grace.”

She tells him she was a friend of his daughter. “What is your name?” he whispers, overcome. “Emma,” she replies. Grace’s father and Emma embrace tightly. “Remember her well,” he says.