I left Galway for San Francisco more than eight years ago. Almost a decade in and my Irish accent is still complimented in the United States, but my slight American twang is voraciously mocked back home.
Like many young Irish people, I chose to spend my 20s abroad. I’m 31 now and not sure I’ll ever move back. As an immigrant you lead two lives, embody two identities and call two places home. You try to master straddling the life you left behind and the life you choose to pursue, but often comes up short on both.
When I first left Ireland I didn’t think it would be long term. I was 23, and most of my friends were leaving. Why would I stay? Irish people are everywhere. We are a nation of islanders fearless about heading overseas to experience life abroad, if only for a few years.
My move was prompted by a government job offer. I was offered a position based in San Francisco for two years. Relieved of the common immigrant stress of being unemployed in addition to being homesick, I accepted.
Jack Reynor: ‘We were in two minds between eloping or going the whole hog but we got married in Wicklow with about 220 people’
Forêt restaurant review: A masterclass in French classic cooking in Dublin 4
I went to the cinema to see Small Things Like These. By the time I emerged I had concluded the film was crap
Charlene McKenna: ‘Within three weeks, I turned 40, had my first baby and lost my father’
The US had never really appealed to me. I saw myself as someone who valued Irish humour, wanted a humanitarian career and hated driving. None of this screams America. I was ambitious, however, so curiosity about the land of opportunity got the better of me.
One thing I knew was that I didn’t want to go to the US and then be “Irish”, though I found many do. I’m proud of my roots, but I was reluctant to surround myself with only Irish people and live a similar version of my Galway life but with more palm trees.
I was ready to shed some of my purebred Irishness to live what I hoped would be the more interesting life of a mutt for a while. The idea of merging my culture with the best and the most absurd that California had to offer intrigued me. A colourful hybrid of west-of-Ireland colloquialisms, entrepreneurial ambitions, funny Irish habits and San Francisco lifestyle choices connected me to the land masses on either side of the Atlantic.
The US did suit me, and the decision to move changed my life for the better.
It changed me in ways that felt immovable before I left. And after an initial adjustment I dove right in. I got my master’s in the Midwest, met my long-term partner (a second-generation American), founded and failed at a start-up, solely drove automatic cars, and got overly excited about fall.
But at what point do I become more American than Irish? And at what frequency and intensity do I have to stay connected to home to delay my Irishness fading?
Those who emigrated before easy air travel and phone calls had to leave their home country in one clean sweep. Now emigration is more of a slow burn, kept alight by your absence at some funerals, your presence at others, and your nocturnal WhatsApp activity. There is no need to fully mourn your old life, as you can access it at any time.
I mostly remain confident in my reasons for staying, but confusion is never too far away.
I’m here in the US to build and sustain my life – a life that feels extraordinary, one that enables me to better support my family and allows me the flexibility to be in Ireland when it matters the most.
Many may classify the modern-day long-term emigrant as selfish, as it now is often a choice rather than a necessity to live overseas. But that’s not the case for me.
Eva-Marie Costello, from Ballyglunin, in Co Galway, is director of business operations at Astranis Space Technologies, a communications-satellite start-up in San Francisco
If you live overseas and would like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do
