Just before I started shaving on my day off, I turned on the radio, as ever. I tuned for news to good old, state-owned RTE. The ads were on. Boom-a-boom went the drums of the state-owned National Lottery ad. On came a distraught woman who needed a house alarm from state-owned Telecom PhoneWatch. Next was something about state-owned RTE supporting the arts in the state-owned National Concert Hall.

Next came the news, about a deal for workers in state-owned TEAM Aer Lingus.I had my breakfast of coffee and state-branded Kerrygold butter on toast. Leaving home, I dashed for the state-owned bus. A state-owned aircraft flew by overhead. I thought of the journey I had later that week, flying from state-owned Dublin Airport, but at least I'd be able to stop at the state-owned duty free.The bus stopped near stae-developed Temple Bar. First, I had to call my friend who was running a small business.He said he had been to state-owned Forbairt to talk about an equity investment in his company. Today he was to talk to state-owned ICC Bank about an £80,000 loan. "What's your bank?" he asked. "My bank?" I said with an interrogative swagger. "State-owned ACC Bank!" Good for a state-owned car loan. Or a state-owned holiday loan. "But," I went on, "I have my savings state guaranteed in the state-owned Post Office."Enough of the finance. My friend said the free export support from State-owned ABT had been good and the research carried out by state-owned PEI Technologies had been handy. Later we went out and, passing by a bookie, we decided to place a bet or two.Would it be on a state-inseminated horse at state-sponsored Leopardstown or state-backed dog racing at state-owned Harold's Cross that evening? A good win could mean a weekend at a state-owned Great Southern Hotel in Parknasilla or Galway.We opted for the National Stud horses and hoped that we'd be able to check the results later on state-owned Aertel.Since we were in Dun Laoghaire, we dropped in for a spot of lunch at state-owned Restaurant na Mara. Good salmon, no doubt improved by the work of state-owned Salmon Research Agency of Ireland Inc. Talk turned to computers and the Internet. Which was better to sign up to - Ireland On-Line, owned by state-owned An Post, or Indigo, soon to be owned by state-owned Telecom? Who were the others, anyway, and why did they only have 10 per cent market share? We pondered.We caught the state-owned DART back to town and stopped by the state-organised International Financial Services Centre. His state-owned Eirpage pager bleeped and he had leave to send a parcel by state-owned SDS.I had to do some shopping. I bought a phone from Abbey, a toaster in the state-owned ESB shop, some briquettes from state-owned Bord na Mona and the best-selling state-owned RTE Guide.When I got home, I emptied out the junk mail from the state-owned direct mail company. I took the car out to get some petrol. As I filled up, I wondered had it come all the way through the state-owned Irish National Petroleum Corporation, perhaps even through state-owned Bantry Terminals.At home again, I thought something would have to be done about the garden. I thought it could do with some seaweed treatment from state-owned Arramara Teo. Perhaps even some chemicals from state-owned Nitrigin Eireann. A garden shed made from state-owned Coillte timber could be a useful addition.It was time to turn on the state-owned gas heating and plan dinner. I considered some rather nice recipes for fish from state-owned BIM, some cheesy ideas from state-owned Bord Bainne, vegetarian delights from An Bord Glas and lots of other state-promoted Bord Bia food.After dinner I turned on the TV to watch the channels supplied by state-owned Cablelink, wondering would state-owned Telecom ever allow phone services on cable TV wires. The ads were stunning as ever, beautiful, expensive images from state-owned CIE, ESB, National Lottery, Bord Gais Eireann, Bord Failte all followed by Telecom sponsoring the state-owned Met Service.At least there was a film on afterwards. It turned out to be an Irish made one too, funded by the state-owned Irish Film Board. My own house turned into an art-house for a couple of hours and I felt good.Well, that was it, a good day. I trudged up to bed, clambered in and started to dream.Who was that drifting into my consciousness? Ah no, the Minister for Public Enterprise coming to tuck me into bed.