As the head of an evil, SMERSH-type empire, there's nothing you like more than devising convoluted, high-tech and yet interminably slow methods of killing 007-type agents - except perhaps extortion. But any half-decent extortion, especially of a world power, doesn't just happen by accident. It requires meticulous planning. To this end, you are forced to sit around your study for several days a month, stroking your white cat and picking your target countries on a globe. Recently though, the globe has been showing signs of wear and tear. This can ruin the whole effect - you spin the thing, throw back your head with an evil cackle, and say: "They will never find my stolen nuclear submarine HERE!"
But instead of your finger jabbing at the Atlantic Ocean, the globe has stuck on its axis - you are pointing at Milan. If only you had the new Floating Globe. It doesn't have an axis, so it will never stick. It quite literally hovers in space - just like the real thing. It all works with magnets and, because there is little resistance (resistance really is futile), the globe spins for quite a long time.
The Floating Globe, £199 sterling (#316), is available from www.iwantoneofthose.com and other top gizmo stockists. Sean MacCarthaigh
Become a gizmo source: contact smaccarthaigh@irish-times.ie